Euro 2021 - Whoa, Italy!

For some 20 teams or so in the tournament, it's time to plan how to make the best exit, because it has become clear who the favorites are. Let's take today's game in order though, beginning with the only one who didn't pan out as I predicted yesterday.

Finland - Russia 0-1

I mean, in fairness, the Fins did score first, and quickly. Right after the goal I tweeted to Kremlin, asking if Vladimir Putin is on VAR duty today. No reply as of yet, but I moved on, whereas Finland didn't. It was almost like the canceled goal took the wind out of their sails. They let the Russians slowly crawl back in the game, dominate, and eventually win.

Was it off-side? Mmmaybe. But I think 9 times out of 10 that goal stands. And it is in no way a 'clear and obvious error' so that it needs turning by VAR. And the linesman didn't see it as off-side in live action.

Regardless, the Fins should have pressed on. Whether they didn't want to or they're not capable of it, they missed a great opportunity. Russia is a poor team and it was totally beatable. 6 points in the bag, whatever Belgium. Now, however, they have to try and get something against Belgium and wait for the other results to qualify. Fat chance, though judging by today maybe they don't belong in the knock-out rounds.

Turkey - Wales 0-2

You know who does belong in the knock-out stages? Wales. They have to believe it too, of course, but they will qualify from second, and with a choice of Denmark, Russia or Finland in the last 16, Wales is in the quarter-finals.

Turkey confirmed the first game was not a fluke, they are really an incompetent team living off the fumes of the big Turkey teams at the turn of the century. That late display of Yilmaz, when his team needed to score, it's injury time, but he would rather get in a fight with the whole Welsh defense is telling: Turkey doesn't do football anymore.

Turkey, Russia and Hungary - all teams of autocratic countries - remind me of communist clubs of the 80s: clearly inferior in skill and mentality, setting out just to frustrate the opponent and cheat the game. Any tiny success would be intensely politicized at home, while the news spin always link back to historical misfortunes and corruption of values of the Western teams. That's why I'm saying godspeed to Turkey who will return home with 0 points, most likely 0 goals, but with an Erdogan whose wife was displaying a huge-ass hijab from the stands today and only made the trip to Baku to see the Turkish crescent next to the Azeri one. It's a sad state of affairs, but if there's one thing I know about dictatorships is that none lasts forever.

Wales. This team is better than they think they are, better than the British media thinks they are and generally underrated. They play with the mentality of underdogs, and this cost them 2 points against Switzerland. An injection of confidence and a touch of ruthlessness would make Wales a really strong competitor. Because you can't be as nonchalant about missing 1-on-1's as Aaron Ramsey has been today. Or Bale, for that matter, missing the penalty. It wasn't even a lot of pressure on him, team is in the lead and dominating, just hit it hard and low. True, Bale was absolutely brilliant throughout, and especially in the closing minutes, keeping the ball, creating danger and masterminding the second goal. One does not excuse the other in my book, though. Anyway, start prepping the quarter-finals, last 4 will be hard, but possible.

Italy - Switzerland 3-0

Locatelli two-times

Words I never thought I'll say: Italy is playing beautiful football! The way they draw their passes, the way they find each other and feel each other on the pitch, the way they move their lines in perfect order up and down, you wonder who's gonna beat them, and how?

France has better individual footballers, sure, but they're not so well coordinated. And the fact he's not an international superstar doesn't seem to be stopping Pinazzola to run riot and completely dominate the whole left half of the field. Chiellini is the definition of calmness when dribbling in his own box, simple and precise when launching attacks and whaddaya know, he can score, too. Bit unlucky to have his goal canceled, but it was indeed a clear handball. Don't matter, it feels like Italy can score whenever and however many they need. And that's against Switzerland, not at all a bad team, with a few big footballers and some very creative attacking players. They managed one shot on target.

That's why Wales will lose to Italy, they took way too many chances to score. When playing Italy, you probably get a couple of glances at goal, max. You have to make good use of them.

All that remains in Group A is for Switzerland to score a lot against Turkey to give them a shot at second place. Meanwhile, they'll have to hope Italy keeps scoring three against Wales as well, which I doubt, as the Italians have already won the group and will be playing for the next game rather than for the result.

Oh, by the way, you all said Immobile or Locatelli will get the Golden Boot, right?

Three interesting games tomorrow, in that they're rather unpredictable. Belgium will probably beat Denmark, though it's impossible to predict what the Eriksen effect will be. I'll call Ukraine - Macedonia for the Ukrainians, but it won't be a straightforward affair. Likewise, Austria might trouble Netherlands and a draw is fully on the cards. All in all, not a good day for betting, tomorrow.

Euro 2021 - Another round!

Hungary - Portugal 0-3

It is a well-known truth throughout Europe that Orban is bad for Hungary. Poor Willi was about to discover exactly how bad: even bearing his name will bring the curse of ill reputation upon your head. 

Things were going swimmingly for the hosts: full stadium, home fans, Portugal kept at bay as we were heading into the final minutes of the game, so much so that the Lusitans were becoming frustrated, nervous and throwing everything forward, thus opening the possibility of snatching that ever-important scoring counter-attack in the closing minutes.

But then, all out of nowhere, like a vacuum opening underneath and an unstoppable force pulls you down, things went to shit for poor Willi Orban: Guerreiro's hopeful shot pushed into his own goal, yellow card and penalty conceded quickly to follow. And just like this, within 3 minutes, it was all gone: any hopes for qualification, points, or some sort of achievement for Hungary to take pride in.

Although, credit to them, the ultras boys were undeterred, applauding their team and staying behind to sing the national anthem. Well, yeah, of course they're the conservative, homophobic, anti-European public Viktor Orban's populist speech panders to, but let's leave politics out of this one, shall we? Just enjoy your football, why don't you, Ukraine?

Like Spain - Sweden, this one also looked the type of game where they only really need half of the pitch. Portugal really has a solid, star-sudden, powerful team, and they started as was expected of them. And here's a controversial opinion: Ronaldo is a more useful player for Portugal today than he was 5 years ago. Back in 2016 he was in top shape, still in his best years, playing some of his best football and winning Champions League trophies for sport (so to speak). So naturally, when diva came to the National team, diva wanted the team to play for him. Which is why it was necessary for him to go out before the team could score the goal that actually won them the tournament. Fast forward 5 years and he's 36, team are no longer bidding insane amounts of money for him and that insanely high jump takes some panting after. So he has to actually put in the leg work, do the running and the kicking. He's still a fabulous player, for sure, and sometimes the way his body bends and moves make me think me might not actually be human, but father time is there, in the front row, waiting patiently. And the wait keeps getting shorter.

Also, I get that he's got records to hit and all that, but that's why people call you Penaldo. Why couldn't you let Bruno take that one, you prick? At least it was a brilliant penalty, shot the speed of a tennis ball, no longer the weird stop before shooting. Or just a miss, like in the 2008 final (oh, yeah, you think I'd forgotten?).

The third goal, ok, that was insane. The speed, the technique, poor Hungarian defense was already groggy and this one completely stunned them. To the victor go the spoils, but if we take out the last 5 minutes, the game tells a different story: superstar team incapable of breaking down a disciplined defence, not a lot of shots on goal and generally showing their limits surprisingly quick. Furthermore, Hungary did score, after a brilliant counter-attack. Offside, yes, but not by much. About as much as Ronaldo's offside for the third goal. Well, in fairness, I thought Portugal should've had a penalty at 0-0, for handball, but I don't know, maybe they decided VAR is more of a consultative thing this time?

So for now I'll stick with Portugal as my favourites, but I might switch soon. After the first round, Italy is clearly the team that impressed the most. I will throw France in the mix too as, unlike Italy, they had to actually overcome stiff opposition and, surprise-surprise, Slovakia. It's gonna be a hard-knock life for the Slovaks, but get a point against Sweden and you're qualified. Then in the knockout rounds, anything can happen.

Germany - France 0-1

Tournament is 5 days old and already we had something of a final. The pundits will be jubilating, as France was favorite and they actually won, deservedly so too. But the margins in this game were so fine, it could have easily gone completely different.

Poor Hummels' own goal was really FUBAR: he was under no pressure, he had so much time and every opportunity to throw the ball out. But such is life. Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the tree. And it's easy for me to speak, I don't have Pogba's wonder passes flying over my head.

Mbappe, f1.2, exp. 1/2000

Even so, after going 1 down Germany took full control of the game and at halftime, I was fairly confident they'll get back into the game, maybe even win it. But second half came about and it taught me an important lesson: you want to get from a city to another faster than the train, just ride Mbappe. I mean, German defenders tried, and he still got to the ball before them pretty much every time. Germany is still one of the best teams in the competition, but when Kylian steps on it, The Flash is struggling to keep up. Sometimes he passes to Benzema that doesn't even need to break stride to break the net; other times he scores himself, with shots so well placed you're looking for the remote.

Both goals were canceled, both rightly so, and that's a shame only because they won't be included in future goal reels. They were both works of art IMHO.

At the other end, I must say I haven't heard of that Gosens kid before today, but boy he can curve a ball! Add Toni Kroos' dead-ball near misses and it becomes obvious that Germany still carries a powerful threat to everyone who set out to win the Euros this year. And in actual fact, the result is somewhat irrelevant: beat Hungary, draw Portugal, qualify with four. 

That's why I'm really happy this was a really good game, much better than what the scoreline might suggest.

Round 2 starts tomorrow, with England playing at the exact same time the show at Aruba Bournemouth starts on Friday. It's ok, we'll have a lot of hens and I'll catch up on the eeked out victory over the Scots later. In the meanwhile, I'm going with Finland, Wales and Italy to win tomorrow and if they do, groups A and B should largely be sorted. Oh yeah, I trust Wales to get to the last 16. Dan James is my Fantasy captain.

Euro 2021 - Impotence

 So I mentioned a treble earlier today, and things didn't quite turn out as such.

Scotland - Czech Republic 2-0

The Czechs were in fact the only ones to hold their part of the deal. A very excited Hampden Park was expecting a lot from the Scottish side, but I'm afraid they don't have a lot to offer. The Scots are full of heart and enthusiasm, but that only takes you so far. The Czechs came up with something a lot more interesting: a game plan.

Le Freak

The Czech defense was stable as an inert gas, I haven't seen their back four breaking formation once during the 90 minutes. Although Scotland did have a few opportunities, including hitting the post once and a last-ditch intervention by the keeper late in the game, none of them materialized. At the other end, going forward, the Czechs were a lot more methodical in building their attacks and looked much more of a threat. Even so, it could've easily been a 0-0 draw, bar a couple of moments of magic from Schick. Jumping above two Scottish defenders for the first goal was impressive, but it's the second goal that's gonna make the headlines for many years to come. Exquisite shot from the halfway line, and no excuse for the Scottish keeper to be as far out as he was. But if it's one thing that Scotland showed, it's lack of maturity, and it was here that was the most obvious.

I am sympathetic towards Scots, but I think we're looking at 4th place in the group for them. Assuming England beats Czech Republic to win the group (although it won't be as straightforward), Czech Republic - Croatia is going to be a very interesting game. Croatia looks stronger on paper, but the Czechs also look like they know what they're doing. In the end, I think all three will qualify.

Poland - Slovakia 1-2

This one looked like a done deal, though apparently Slovakia didn't read the script. All of a sudden, Poland looks like an over-hyped team relying heavily on a star player that can easily be annihilated without good service from midfield. There's no doubt that Lewandowski is a top player, he's strong, his movement is good and he's very much goal-oriented, but the Slovaks did just enough to cut him off from midfield service, so that Polish goal opportunities ended up being relatively few.

To individual star-power, Slovaks opposed a very well consolidated team spirit. Hamsik is clearly their star, but he didn't play like one. He played for the team and he did a great job of supporting his team-mates, so that they were able to be equally dangerous on the attack from both sides.

Slovakia clearly dominated the first half, but with the Poles equalising so quickly after the interval, it still looked that the momentum is shifting towards the favorites. Kudos to Tarkovic's boys though for not losing their temper, for absorbing the pressure and taking advantage of the opportunities when they arose.

With three points in the bag and with a performance to be proud of, they can now be optimistic about the remaining two games. Qualification is not going to be easy, but it's certainly a stronger possibility now than it was yesterday.

Spain - Sweden 0-0

The other game in the group was also a banker for the bookies. Spain looked and played like favourites, and the stats are insanely balanced in their favour. But it's not possession that gets you points, and 20 shots on goal are useless if none of them is converted. It's obvious that Spain are going through a generation change, they are a team in transition. They're trying to emulate the style that won them 2 Euros and a World Cup 10 years ago, but individual value has significantly dropped, and today's Spain, despite the attacking intent, feels a bit toothless.

On the other hand, Sweden set out to defend for 90 minutes. But they were more efficient in this than, say, Turkey against Italy. Two lines of defense, and crowd the box with enough bodies so that there's no space for the ball to go through. Any attacking threat from Sweden came from Alexander Isak, a name I feel we're hear more often in the years to come. He ran a lot, fought the Spanish defense to the point that Sweden, with it's 18 percent possession, came close to scoring on a couple of occasions, but he had zero support.

In order to score goals in football you have to have the ball, and Sweden didn't, really. However, having the ball is not enough, as Spain has just shown.

As the game drew to a close, in the last 10 minutes or so, it felt like both teams are happy with a goalless draw, despite Spain's late attempts to chase a goal. And I'm really hoping this was a natural course of the game and not some petty number-crunching in the knowledge that Poland lost three points and Slovakia looks beatable. Whether it was this or not, I'd like for Slovakia to upset the group a tad more. Judging by today's games, I see Poland finishing last in the group. I reckon Spain will beat Slovakia, leaving them to battle it out with Sweden for second place. And I feel in that game Sweden might have a different approach.

Only two games tomorrow, but the most interesting so far. France - Germany is impossible to predict, even though France looks a slight favorite. Well known football fact is that underestimating Germany is about the biggest mistake one can make in this sport. In the other game, Portugal is facing Hungary in a game which should be fairly uni-directional. I'm thinking 3-0 Portugal.

Euro 2021 - England debut

 So I haven't seen the England game. I was actually counting on parks being emptier during the England game, but this is London. No chance any patch of grass is actually left unoccupied if you can see the sun.

England - Croatia 1-0

Between the two, I favour Croatia, because of Balkan brotherhood and because they have been a consistently strong team ever since their re-establishment in 1993. But it was not to be on the day, they did not manage to spoil the England party, and by the looks of it for good reason. It is said that England played better, but I still think the 'It's Coming Home' songs will end in a whimper once the knockout stages come about.

Austria - North Macedonia 3-1

I was hopeful for the small nation of Macedonia, but unfortunately it looks like they're gonna be the whipping boys. Front favourite to go out in the group stage in my book at this point in time. They have a lot of soul, and I can tell epics are being born in Skopje these days, but unfortunately they seem to be very limited in terms of football ability. Already Pancev's goal means a lot, and I hope there will be more for them in the tournament, but the signs aren't there.

What do you call a successful pop song?

I don't much rate Austria as a team, and the fact that they controlled the game so strongly, specially in the second half, is telling. Alaba is clearly their star player, and for good reason: he was the most present in the game and very likely had the most touches. But even without a double Champions League winner, Austria can line up the likes of Arnautovic and a whole host of RB Salzburg players rather used to the rarefied air of Champions League. 

Lainer's first goal was class, as was his gesture to hold up a support message for Ericksen straight after. Excellent positioning and control of the ball for the final touch. Will they beat Ukraine? Hard to say. I'll have a clearer view after match day 2.

Because the game was played in Bucharest (which the ITV commentator called Budapest at half-time, but hey-ho, it's east of Berlin, how is he gonna know?), a few words about my beautiful country. To be a host nation of this tournament, to have the eyes of the continent upon you and generally to be considered amongst the civilised nations is a historical luck that I'm still not quite sure how we stumbled upon. And what will Europe remember after this game? What will the thousands of Macedonians spending the week in Bucharest note? That the National Arena has a retractable roof that cannot actually be retracted, while the Austrian team - on their way to functional countries - will look back at that time in Bucharest when they couldn't do their official training on the game pitch as it was water-logged. Monsoon season in Bucharest, blame the weather and the historical bad luck. Only, when it's such a long streak, the fault might not lay entirely with the Gods.

Netherlands - Ukraine 3-2

Well, even De Jong, speaking for ITV before the game, wasn't fancying Netherlands all that much. With the weakest team in living memory, the Dutch are something of a question mark for this tournament. But credit to them, they hit the ground running and had a bunch of opportunities in the first half, on account of which they really should've gotten in with an advantage at half-time. But nil-nil it was, only for the goal-fest to start in the second half.

While the first goal was a great execution, Ukraine must be beating themselves for how easy they let in the second. As should the Dutch for being equalized so quickly and so easily. But all's well that ends well, Dumfries' goal sent the points where they should've gone with a lot less emotions. Ukraine will take heart from the performance and from the relative easy games left in the group. Can they beat Austria? They'll certainly want to.

As I write this, it's about two hours from the start of today's games. It looks like a straightforward treble of Czech Republic, Poland and Spain to me, with potentially a question mark over Scotland's resistance. But it's still the first game and the potential for surprise is still decent. It will drop significantly after the first round of games.

Euro 2021 - First day

There is a school of thought that states the Euros are somewhat harder to win than the World Cup. The reason being, you need to play the exact number of matches to win it as in a World Cup, except all opponents are European, hence presumably better rated than the average non-European team. The only non-European teams worth considering - according to this line of thinking - are Brazil and Argentina, anyway. And maybe, just maybe, Uruguay, seen as they've won the World Cup twice.

Besides the highly Euro-centric perspective, I don't subscribe to this idea and I'd go as far as saying it misses much of the point of what a World Cup represents: it's a meeting of cultures, including football cultures, of ideas about the game, of the very best each confederation has to offer, and a space to discover surprises, evolution, and potential. As for ratings and value, an Asian team has made the semi-final in 2002, African teams have repeatedly qualified in quarter-finals, and if you think the likes of Columbia or USA are, on an average day, lesser opponents than Hungary or Finland, you might not have the best idea what you're talking about.

So clearly, the World Cup is where it's at. That's partly the reason I never got too hyped up about the Euros. Another part is that the '7 games to win' format is quite new, first Euro I've seen (1992) was a weird, 8-team, two-group affair in which a team that didn't even qualify for the tournament ended up winning it. How serious can a competition be if Denmark (granted, with probably their best generation yet) can win it?

In addition, the qualifiers have been weird and hard to understand, the tournament takes place one year later and all over the place, and nothing seems typical about this tournament.

And yet, spurred by the English media's massive overestimation of England's squad's chances and by friendly match starting times, I have decided to follow, or at least take this tournament seriously.

As such, I will comment on games and make predictions. Off the bat, before the tournament started and without having watched any qualifiers, friendlies or international football in general since the last World Cup, my prediction for winners of the tournament is Portugal. Come back in a month to see how that panned out.

Turkey - Italy 0-3

Based on each team's tradition I expected an offensive festival of the Turks being professionally and expertly handled by a hyper-efficient Italian football machine, a game that would result in a low-scoring result favorable to Italy. 1-0, 1-1, 2-1.

What I saw was a thoroughly disappointing Turkish team, that set out to defend without being good at defending. So isolated was Yilmaz upfront that Turkey might've started with 10 men and get the same results. He did get a few useful passes (three, if I'm not mistaken), and they did result in Turkey's only shot on goal. But a lot more is required if you set out to bother Italy at all.

It might've been Turkey's lack of bite, but Chiellini looked so comfortable leading the defense and so majestic going forward that he's already one to watch in terms of picking the best players of the tournament.

I don't know much about this Italy team and I don't recognize many names, but they do have the makings to be amongst the favorites. Immobile is a poacher in the vein of Pippo Inzaghi, only he runs a bit more. His goal was opportunistic, sure, but also expertly executed, with the ball far from the reach of the keeper. And Insigne, hard to take seriously when judged by height alone, was a revelation. The amount of stuff he created, Turkey is lucky to have left with only 3 conceded. A far cry from the days of Hasan Sas and Umit Davala.

Wales - Switzerland 1-1

Although the Swiss were slight favorites on paper, I expected this game to be pretty even, and I expect these two teams to battle for second place in the group. For now, they've both postponed the battle. It will be a matter of who can withstand Italy better and who can beat Turkey by more. Emotionally I lean towards Wales. Although Switzerland has dominated the game - at least the stats game, I felt 1-1 was a fair result, and a result that gives Wales a solid shot at qualification, especially as they don't get to play Italy until after squadra azzura would probably have qualified already.

Denmark - Finland 0-1

Massively overshadowed by what will certainly be one of the headlines of the tournament, this game delivered the first surprise, in the shape of a Finnish win.

Of course, it was an atypical game. Christian Eriksen's collapse scared the world and shifted the focus away from football. I thought restarting the game was madness, though probably a bit less so than the logistical nightmare of replaying it in a different day. 

What sort of focus might the Danes have had when they've just seen their star player fighting for his life? How can Kjaer be concerned with beating Finland an hour or so after being concerned with saving a teammate's life? After the restart, most Denmark could've hoped for was a dull 0-0 draw and some respite to process the events of the day. Going 1-0 down was unlucky, but not unpredictable. And missing a penalty might prove to be the cherry on top of this gloomy day for Danish football.

Finland strikes me as a team that's trying to make up for lack of talent with discipline and hard work. Much like Iceland in the last two majors. Today, it worked. And it just needs to work one more time - against an apparently frail Russia - for the beautiful football dream of the Fins to continue beyond the group stage. Will it? Hopefully.

Belgium - Russia 3-0

The result was expected, though the gulf in class does seem a bit too big. Russia can be rather unpredictable, so even if this is their real level they are perfectly capable of pulling a performance way above this, so their opponents have to be on their toes at all times.

But Belgium should top this group easily, potentially with the best goal difference of all the groups. This makes Lukaku a favorite for the tournament's Golden Boot, though I don see Belgium hitting semifinals. Probably quarters for them. 

Tomorrow is a big day for England, with a strong chance of being spoiled by Croatia. Most interesting game of the day by far. Austria - Macedonia is the novelty feature, no one expects much from either team. And Netherlands, although with a team much below the standard they usually have, should still dispatch Ukraine easily. Let's see.

Wrong side of the tracks

 Angela Carter - Wise Children, Vintage Books, 2006

Emma Rice's stage adaptation of Wise Children is the best scripted drama I have ever seen on a stage. So, once I found out the play is based on a book and that, furthermore, the book is actually quite a popular one, naturally, I wanted to read it.

I can fully see the appeal. Wise Children is expertly crafted literature, with a lot of show-stopping moments. Moments when you actually feel like stopping your reading just to contemplate the beauty of its prose. That is rare. I am curious about Angela Carter's other writing, although it's a safe assumption that the lady was a master of her craft. Yes, was. Life cut short. Died in 1992 at the age of 51. Lung cancer. Hey-ho.

While I was admiring the writing, however, oftentimes I have asked myself. Is this maybe a bit... over-written? Although over-written is probably not the best choice of words. 'Baroque' is what Ali Smith calls it in the 2006 introduction, and I can fully get on board with that.

The book is luxurious in detail and scarce in action. In fact, it doesn't even feel like a linear novel as much as a conglomerate of snapshots, a series of photos which, in quick succession, give the impression of movement. Sometimes there are large gaps. Sometimes one or the other of the tableaus gets lost in a different position than its natural place in the storyline. All without a warning, all without any particular regard for the effort it elicits from the reader. Because yes, beautiful as it is, it can be hard going. 'Heavy writing', I called it.

I suppose, in a way, it's exactly like listening to a stream of stories from an old lady that at times sound like digressions, at times like senseless blabber, but it's all so fascinating that not only you keep listening, you are actively engaged in trying to put everything in order. I'm pretty sure this was the intention.

The old lady in question is Dora Chance, twin sister of Nora and the protagonist of the book, born in 1915, but with a story that starts 2 generations previous and goes all the way towards the late years of the 20th century. All of it imagined, of course, but so vivid that it might as well be true. After all, who is to say that one cannot turn an invisible corner on Brixton Road, or Coldharbour Lane, and end up on Bard Road, the street where the Chance sisters live, but that cannot be found on a map?

This book is quintessentially British, quintessentially London. A certain part of London, of a certain time. Brixton looks a lot different now than in 1990 - everything changes. It's still 'the wrong side of the tracks' though - it has been since the days of Shakespeare! Because some things never change, isn't it?

Speaking of Shakespeare... yes, he is almost a character. So much in the book goes back to Shakespeare! And Carter creates a playful reverent/irreverent relationship with the Bard that I feel it should become representative for the way any culture looks upon its agreed-upon highly esteemed heroes. Yes, you can both admire Shakespeare and make fun of him. Nothing wrong with the cat using Shakespeare's open-top bust as a litter box. But why, oh, why, Angela, must you be looking for the ugliest, dirtiest, most reprehensible details of any single story. Why focus on the ugliest aspects of human nature?

Honest question, I don't understand. For instance, Charlie Chaplin, to this day one of the most venerated figures of South London. Do you know what Carter/Chance has to say about him? 'Hung like a horse'. Not even a bad thing per se, although surely he was known for more than that?

Dude asks Dora for an autograph? She can see the bits of sperm stuck in his mustache after blowing his boyfriend during the movie. All of it in good humor, sure, but was it really the most striking aspect about the fellow?

I hope you get the gist.

And finally, my big question: why is it that, while the play Wise Children is an explosion of joy and exuberance, of dance and song, suddenly turned on its head by the twist at the end that leaves your heart in tatters - why is it then that the book feels like the exact opposite of that? An undertone of sadness throughout, but with the most luminous end, of all the possible uplifting ends imaginable? What compelled Emma Rice to turn the story on its head? Why is it so effective with such a small change? How come both work just as well? What devilish works are in play so that by changing what happens at the end you change how we feel in the beginning? Which one is better?

The truth is, after the first read, I don't fully understand the book. Got distracted by enjoying the writing, I suppose. So I guess to fully do it justice as a reader I'll have to read it again at some point. But what if the second read will be just as enjoyable as the first, and I still won't get to understand it? It's almost like it's been written to be felt.

Speaking of, I most certainly want to see the play again. For those of you who haven't, you're in luck: it's available online.

Quotes, so you can feel what I mean about the writing:

24: 'You always like to think a bit of love, or at least a little pleasure, went into your making but I do not know, I cannot guess, if the dark-eyed stranger who put his hand up the skirt of the penniless orphan was cynical, or tender, or desperate, or carried away by the moment.'

54: 'I loved it and have always loved it best of all, the moment when the lights go down, the curtain glows, you know that something wonderful is going to happen. It doesn't matter if what happens next spoils everything; the anticipation itself is always pure.'

125: 'When I was young, I'd wanted to be ephemeral, I'd wanted the moment, to live in just the glorious moment, the rush of blood, the applause. Pluck the day. Eat the peach. Tomorrow never comes. But, oh yes, tomorrow does come all right, and when it comes it lasts a bloody long time, I can tell you.'

140: 'We felt we had been dislocated. Or, as if we, too, had surrendered to the dream but did not know for sure who dreamed us.'

144: 'We were quite surprised and felt shoddy, by comparison, as if we lived in an ethical twilight, a cockroach world of compromise, lies, emotional sleight of hand. And so we did, I suppose. We called it 'Life'. [...] It's the American tragedy in a nutshell. They look around the world and think: 'There must be something better!' But there isn't. Sorry, chum. This is it. What you see is what you get. Only the here and now.'

168: 'We were doomed to either flash or squalor.'

169: 'I've never known such profound silences as those Lynde silences especially when her daughters were there, silences in which the unspoken hung like fog that got into your lungs and choked you.'

178: 'though never my favourite tipple, any port in a storm'

192: 'It's every woman's tragedy [...] that, after a certain age, she looks like a female impersonator.'

Mind you, we've known some lovely female impersonators, in our time.'

Hard to describe how funny this line is when said by a female impersonator.

Quotation marks

 James Kerr - Legacy (What the All Blacks Can Teach Us about the Business of Life), Constable, 2013

This is a 'book' in the same way the sounds a baby makes are a 'speech'. It looks promising, and it promises a lot, but in actual fact, it's a compilation of sound bites from better books peppered with trivia about the New Zealand national rugby team. 

And when I say sound bites, this should be taken literally at times, because if you don't speak Maori, you'll have to scroll through a lot of 'kia urupu tatou' or 'kohia te kai rangatira' which, even though they're translated, they might sound good, but they're close to meaningless without appropriate contextualization.

Same for the English language quotes, some of which sound good, some of which stand well on their own, but all of which are - in their original context - enriched by a sum of stories, facts or research that makes them reasonable conclusions of what has been said before. Not the case here, where postulations from other people are made on each page.

Which is why this book is highly quotable, but not very valuable. A marketing gimmick, perhaps, but not the kind of ethical marketing the good books are written about.

The other side of it, the success of the All Blacks, is just as sloppy put together. Facts lashed out on half a page, without context and without the perspective of anything that was happening around them, giving the reader no sort of clue about how they fit in the bigger picture, and presented as the only explanation (or maybe a prime example?) of the subsequent 'lesson'. However, a few biographies of important All Blacks players are heavily referenced, and one cannot help but think those are actually the ones to read.

With a bibliography ranging from Thucydides to Daniel Kahneman (complex personality, you see) and introduced by a Samuel Johnson quote (because why not?), this book is only good if you're in dire need of pointers towards books on psychology, leadership or sports to read. Sorry, James, but it's a sloppy effort and should be called out as such.

But here's a few of the quotes though:

* 'Just because it’s common sense doesn’t mean it’s common practice.'

* 'A great player can only do so much on his own. [...] No matter how breathtaking his one-on-one moves, if he is out of sync psychologically with everyone else, the team will never achieve the harmony needed to win a championship.'

* 'From ancient theology to contemporary psychology, our words shape our story and this story becomes the framework for our behaviours; and our behaviours determine the way we lead our life and the way we run our organizations.'

* 'You don't own the jersey, you're just the body in the jersey at the time'

* 'Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.' (Albert Schweitzer)

* 'Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth' (Muhammad Ali)