Somehow, The Man is trying to take the joy out of that too, but not quite yet, baby. It is an annoying and disturbing habit lately to have the World Cup in countries where basic human rights are regarded as optional. The last one where it was all about unbridled joy was the 2014 one in Brazil. Since then... Russia, Qatar, USA, and Saudi Arabia in 2030. I swear, it's the gallery of authoritarian states. What's next, North Korea for 2034?
Still, let's ignore all the political bullshit going on in the world, and remember that everything important in the next month and a bit will take place on a square of grass, some 100 x 50 yards in size. And let's hope there's no cheating this time around, although if there is, I'd like to see Mexico go as far as possible. Always liked Mexico in the World Cup.
My favourites this year are Portugal, and the strongest contenders are probably France. I'd like England to go out of the group stage without scoring, it will be quieter on the streets.
Quick look at each group until football takes over:
Group A: Mexico, South Korea, Czechia, South Africa. Easy, Mexico and Czechia to qualify, Schlick to be a hero once more.
Group B: Canada, Qatar, Switzerland, Bosnia. I have a feeling that, because of the new format, no group has two solid teams. I'm going with Bosnia to win the group and Switzerland second.
Group C: Brazil, Haiti, Scotland, Morocco. Brazil will win it, and I'm hoping for Celecao to be back into always being the threat, always in the top 4. Cunha and Ederson will be representing United, and hopefully they'll both score. Second place, I'm hoping Scotland, but Morocco will have something to say about it.
Group D: USA, Australia, Turkey, Paraguay. Turkey to win it, second place will be contested. USA has home advantage, Australia are always a dark horse, and Paraguay are bringing South American flair. Maybe USA will edge it, pushed forward by the croowds. My heart says Paraguay though.
Group E: Germany, Ivory Coast, Ecuador and Curacao. I remember what a good account of themselves Costa Rica gave in 2006, and I hope Curacao will do the same. Favourites are Germany and Ivory Coast though, in this order.
Group F: Netherlands, Sweden, Tunisia and Japan. Netherlands will breeze through, Sweden looks second favourite but Japan is always a tough nut to crack. Sweden - Japan will be a great game.
Group G: Belgium, Egypt, New Zealand, Iran. Iran always played well, and with the political situation loaded as it is, I'd love to see them going through the group stage. Belgium will win it, but will annoy all the neutrals in the process.
Group H: Spain, Saudi Arabia, Cape Verde, Uruguay. Gone are the days of Saeed Owairan and Sami al-Jaber, the romantic football of the 90s. Nowadays Saudi Arabia is trying to buy everything, including sporting success. No sympathy for them anymore, Spain and Uruguay to go hand in hand through an easy group.
Group I: France, Iraq, Norway, Senegal. Oh, poor Iraq! France will win it, and Norway should go through, all going well, but Senegal should be a worthy opponent.
Group J: Argentina, Austria, Jordan, Algeria. I swear, they draw them alphabetically or something. Never really liked Austria for some reason, not with Linderberger in 1990, not with Arnautovic in more recent times. Argentina to go through, and I hope Jordan, though I have no idea about their footballing prowess.
Group K: Portugal, Uzbekistan, Colombia and Congo Kinshasa. Portugal and Colombia says the paper, but I have a feeling about DR Congo. Big country, politically stable for years, they might be the African team that could on this one occasion. There's always one, isn't it? Cameroon 1990, Nigeria 1994, Senegal 2002, Senegal 2010, Morocco 2022, they might just be the little team that could. I'd say watch out Colombia, but Portugal has been known to stumble too. The defeat to Morocco in the QF of WC 2022 was painful. Congo have Wan Bissaka and Tuanzebe in defence, and are a far cry from the naive Zaire who lost 9-0 to Yugoslavia in 1974. Who shall it be, who shall it be? Let's go with POrtugal and Congo.
Group L: England, Ghana, Panama Croatia. Ok, in fairness, England has it easy. But if they lose the first game to Croatia (likely), and draw Ghana in the second, there might be a few squeaky bums against Panama. So let's be consistent, and say Croatia and Ghana to qualify.
Now, I know there's 8 out of 12 groups who will qualify 3 teams rather than 2. But we're not gonna go into predictions about how the tournament is gonna go just yet; it never goes that way. I'll just check how many of the first two places I got right come 28 June, then we'll discuss the round of 32. Who should the 3rd place qualifiers be? Morocco, USA, Ecuador, Japan, Senegal, Jordan, Colombia and... ok, England.
Swear to God, nothing like losing your shit at 1 am for Canada - Qatar. That's what I'll be doing on 18 June.
