WC 2022: The friendly

Croatia - Morocco 2-1

The third-place play-off has no real stakes. This is no more than a glorified friendly, a game that does not reward the victor, nor punish the defeated, and I don't remember any third place playoff for the past 32 years producing anything memorable. Bar perhaps Turkey's victory over South Korea in 2002, when most of the world felt the refereeing wrongdoings that have pushed South Korea into the semifinals were avenged.

Croatia - Morocco was no different, perhaps bar a very sweet look-upon by neutrals: these are both two very beautiful teams, the underdogs that no one expected to get this far when the tournament started and two teams that were both within touching distance of playing what would have been a much more interesting final.

It was a good game overall, marred by blatant refereeing mistakes. Look, we get it: these 'mistakes' sometimes have a purpose, I mentioned South Korea in 2002, and Argentina this year (or in 2014 for that matter) is no different. But come on Qatar! This game had no stake!

If it's a penalty, give them a penalty. Croatia should have benefitted from two obvious ones, which makes one question why the hell do we bother with VAR. Croatia won the game anyway, so these very poor decisions contribute to little else than to bury even further the reputation of Qatari football and of this World Cup which, we can all agree now, has not been one of the best. 

But, when all is said and done, many congratulations to both teams. Congratulations to Croatia which - no one can doubt it now - is a footballing superpower with an amazing track record, and the big trophies will probably be heading their way shortly. Congratulations to Morocco, their amazing passion and work rate, and their glorious fans. They have made history, they have pushed the boundaries of how high African teams can dream, and who knows? Maybe we will see an African team winning the World Cup soon.

Now on to the final, which is about to start, and in which I hope France will win comfortably. It will be tight, but I'm confident.

Ramenez la coupe a la maison...

WC 2022: Numbers dropping rapidly

QF:

Brazil - Croatia 0-0 (1-1 aet, 2-4 penalties)

Netherlands - Argentina 2-2 (3-4 penalties)

Morocco - Portugal 1-0

France - England 2-1

SF:

Argentina - Croatia 3-0

France - Morocco 2-0

I have been deeply disturbed in this World Cup by real life's strong attempts to disturb my football watching. Whereas I was hoping to actually be in Qatar and see some of the games live, I ended up struggling for time to watch games because of work, a horrible throwback to the World Cup I have the least amount of recollection of, Germany 2006, which I could only watch on a small screen with bad reception and no sound.

Having said all that, I actually did see the first two quarters. I watched Brazil - Croatia with Ena, who not only is Croatian but also seems to care about how the team is doing. And I didn't think they'd do very well against Brazil until it happened. I think Brazil got the game wrong tactically, not going all out to score and thus entering into Croatia's slow grinding down. I didn't quite get what it is about Croatia's team that makes it so dangerous until Ian Wright said they're boring. I don't think it's boredom as such, but a very ingenious way of maximizing their resources. With an aging attacking compartment but a lot of strength and stamina in defense, the Croats knew they can absorb everything thrown at them, and against a flourishing Brazil side it's seldom you can do more than absorb. Keep them at arm's length, don't let them create that moment of magic. It works well for about 2 hours until Neymar's cartoon goal. 

I don't particularly like Neymar and I think he's massively overrated, but that goal was a moment of brilliance. It looked like he's suddenly two people, like when Flash or some fast-moving superhero in movies starts sprinting. Simply unstoppable, no matter how good your defense. 

I thought that was it, but credit to Croatia for coming back from it. A bit clunky, a bit lucky, with a speculative shot from a distance 3 minutes from time, but it worked. And to penalties they went, where it almost feels like Croatia is cheating. Livakovic is without a doubt the best keeper of the tournament in my eyes, so even when he doesn't necessarily keep the penalties out, he inspires a belief in his team-mates that makes them a lot calmer when shooting.

Penalties are a lottery, but in some lotteries, you have a better chance than in others. This was Brazil's story in this World Cup and we can talk about merit all we like, in games like these the tiniest of margins make the world of a difference.

I watched Argentina - Netherlands too, and I was impressed with the Dutch resilience and ability to come back from 2-0 down. Just as impressed with how loud the whole pub exploded for Netherlands' second goal, 100 minutes in. One point where I meet the English football fans is in their hatred for Argentina. it's funny, the Falklands War, Maradona's hand of God, Simeone's cheated elimination of Beckham in 1998, each event could have been enough to make the two countries dislike each other, but all of them combined... it's hard to see a way back for that dislike.

The cards are stacked for Messi to win this World Cup, and unfortunately the Netherlands was a victim of that. Because otherwise, they were the better team.

I tried to not know the result of the other two quarter-finals, but that's close to impossible if you're out in the world or if you touch a device connected to the internet. All the more so when England is playing, and everyone everywhere has their TVs, laptops, and phones connected to the game. So I made peace with the fact I won't live the emotions in real-time, so I had to settle for 3-minutes highlights of Morocco - Portugal. Which told me very little except for the score and the fact that Bruno had the draw in his boot twice, but he was unlucky on both occasions. Especially when he hit the post.

I'm sad for Portugal, but happy for Morocco, and I kind of supported them against France. I'm very happy to finally see an African team in the semi-finals, but I would've much preferred it to be a sub-Saharean team. I said it before, I associate Nigeria, Senegal, Cameroon, or Ghana much more with African football's values and traditions rather than Morocco or Egypt, which represents the Middle East more than Africa. Besides, Morocco is this weird intersection of Africa, Europe, and the Arab World, with a finger in each of these but belonging fully to neither. But beyond my biased geo-political views, the Atlas Lions played an amazing tournament and deserve their bit of history.

I saw even less of France - England, little else than the memes about Harry Kane's penalty going above the bar. But that's ok. The English don't know how to enjoy football, or anything, really. They always go overboard. When the national team wins an important match, they'll be noisy and annoying, they'll create chaos on the streets, break windows, destroy bus stations, and make the city an unpleasant sight overall. When England loses, everyone goes home quietly, and the most unpleasant sight you can see is some tearful child who'll grow to know better. So well done, France! Ramenez la coupe a la maison...

The semifinals I did see, even though I had to suffer through the hour-long ITV build-up to the game, because the amazing new ITV player cannot fast forward, in exchange for bombarding the viewers with huge chunks of publicity and buffering worse than illegal streams. To have the World Cup broadcast in such awful conditions is actually outrageous and it's one of the stupid quirks of this country that the media regulator does not take any sort of position towards the public being basically abused by the whims of a private TV channel.

Anyway...

I will grant this: Argentina was the better team against Croatia, and deserving winners of the game. Even though the penalty from which Messi opened the scoring was very, very soft. Remember that thing about cards being stacked in his favor? On full display on that penalty. What was Livakovic supposed to do? Let the guy just pass him? There was no hit or intention of hitting. If anything, it was an attacking foul. But as we have seen, without a little help from his FIFA friends, Messi isn't even able to beat Saudi Arabia.

And we ordered Lebanese food to watch France - Morocco. Yeah, I know, other side of the Mediterranean, but we live in the West, ok? If they have weird curly hair, that's good enough. So yeah, I did support Morocco, and I felt for their very hearty fans, but unfortunately the players didn't as much. Yeah, of course, France is a great team and very hard to beat, but you know what makes it harder to beat them? Not shooting when you have a clear sight on goal! Not attacking the player in full force and holding back when he's through on goal! In some ways, the result of this game was not as important, Morocco will bask in the glory of this semifinal forever now, but how much more of a bigger story would it have been if they won the World Cup? Earth-shattering, dare I say, it would have shifted the geo-political situation of the Mediterranean basin. But they weren't ready, obviously.

Worrying that they were able to dominate France so thoroughly for some 20 minutes or so, but I still fancy Les Bleus to win it. Well, it would be horrible otherwise, wouldn't it?

Ramenez la coupe a la maison...

WC 2022: Football speaks Portugese

Spain - Morocco 0-0 (0-3 penalties)

Portugal - Switzerland 6-1

The two Champions League final defeats in 2009 and 2011 made me dislike anything remotely connected to Spain. My anger was actually directed at Barcelona so in retrospect I should've probably liked some bits coming out of Spain, but my knowledge of the country and its socio-political dynamics wasn't as refined a decade ago. In the intervening years, and after a few visits to Spain, including a trip to Camp Nou (to see United), my opinion of Spain has shifted considerably. I have come to like the country, its magnificent setting, its amazing infrastructure, its sunny shores and friendly people. Somehow, this warming up has never extended to the national football team, especially after the 2010 World Cup win, when they displayed the same annoying across-the-field play that Guardiola brought about at Barcelona.

So their loss against Morocco yesterday bemused me more than anything. While it is common understanding that the 2008-2012 generation is an exceptional one rather than a platform for dominating world football, Spain is still rightly seen as one of the teams best avoided in a football competition. Kudos to Morocco for not fearing the reputation and playing with the same confidence they displayed in the group stages. As a matter of fact, even on paper the teams seem pretty even.

So now, looking back at Spain's 4-game run, it looks like actually the 7-0 win against Costa Rica has been the odd one out. Even so, go through and everything is forgiven, at least until the next game. Plus, there is no team in the world for which a QF World Cup exit would be considered dishonorable. But by Jove, Spain, did you train for penalties in Japan or something?

Morocco, the only African team left in the competition, will not beat the curse of the quarter-finals, not after the football displayed by Portugal yesterday. They still deserve all the praise. Worthy winners of a group with Belgium and Croatia, and keeping the reputation of their country as an African footballing power.

But yeah, Portugal... I said Brazil's 4-1 win was free-flowing football, but Portugal's game yesterday was next level. Switzerland is not a bad team, yet they didn't know what hit them. First hattrick of the competition, 6-1 win, and they were actually wasteful with the opportunities. Very likely the best display of the competition so far and the best part of it is, they did it without Ronaldo.

If they maintain this form for 3 more games, the World Cup trophy will travel to Lisbon for the first time in history. That is a big if though, and the games are only getting tougher from now on.

I would love a Brazil - Portugal final, and I can kind of see it. It would be absolutely memorable. Let's just see if France or England have anything to say about it.

WC 2022: Está voltando para casa

Japan - Croatia 1 - 1 (1-3 penalties)

Brazil - South Korea 4 - 1

The jury is still out on whether this is a flex or not, but I am old enough to remember Romania playing Croatia in the World Cup finals, and Romania being the favorite. Sounds like a fantasy, doesn't it? And yet it was only... 24 years ago?!?

It's ok, I've made peace with the fact that Romania is a country with close to zero footballing achievements, save for maybe that miraculous 1986 European Champions Cup win. It is perhaps more interesting to see how and why a nation as small as Croatia, with less than 4 million people, has become such a powerhouse in world football. Or whether it will continue to be past this tournament where, unfortunately, I think they are heading for a quarter-final exit at the hands of Brazil.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I should probably say that Japan is arguably the most pleasant surprise of this World Cup. Winning a group with Spain and Germany while beating them both is a performance hard to match, especially so for a nation without a tradition of big wins in football. And even after that, I thought 'Oh, well, Croatia are favorites, they will take Japan out easily.' And while taking out Japan they did, it was anything but easy. Not only did Japan score first, but it was also a pretty well-balanced game throughout, with the Asians having spells of domination and being in control of the game.

In the end, it was their biggest strength that proved to be the decisive weakness as well: their selflessness, the hard graft without really minding the result. It's all good and swell, but sometimes you have to be clinical in front of goal, and this is where Japan has fallen short, missing a couple of sitters from positions where more experienced teams would have been a lot more brutal.

Croatia is not only strong and experienced, but they've also been in this situation before, being pressured in a high-pressure game, and it showed in abundance. Especially on penalties, where 3 of the 4 Japanese takers have simply crumbled under the pressure. Yes, Livakovic has saved 3 penalties, and I don't mean to take anything away from him, but they've all been very poor penalties. A trend in this World Cup, but also, don't expect to get it so wrong and be past a penalty shoot-out.

Still, Japan bows out honorably, and with the perspective of coming back stronger in 2026. 

A stark contrast with South Korea, who squeezed through to the knock-out stage by chance, upstaging two better teams. The difference in quality between them and Brazil was staggering, with a full-flowing Brazil being 4-0 at halftime. It will take a miracle to stop the Brazilians from winning it, the football they're playing is just scary. Not only are they unstoppable, but they also seem to do it naturally, with very little effort. Serbia put a solid defense and lethal counter-attacking in front of them, and Switzerland showed good discipline and quality players, yet it all came to naught. I'm afraid it will be more of the same with Croatia, which will bring something of the same quality as the game that Serbia did, only with better players.

So yeah, once I collect my winnings after Spain and Portugal come through today, I'll put some back on Brazil winning. The odds will be minuscule though.

WC 2022: Bless the rains down in Africa

Switzerland - Serbia 3-2

Brazil - Cameroon 0-1

Netherlands - USA 3-1

Argentina - Australia 2-1

France - Poland 3-1

England - Senegal 3-0

Well, Group G finished relatively uneventful at least in terms of the qualifying teams. Brazil wins the group despite a defeat against Cameroon, the first against an African nation. Inconsequential, and I haven't watched the game to know how the Selecaos approached it, but it gave us the memorable moment of Aboubakar's joy and elimination. Not the most worthy African team, but Cameroon always looks like the most lovable.

Switzerland - Serbia sealed what was expected, but wow, that first half was the most spectacular yet at this World Cup. The Serbs showed there's some life in their team, some of their attacks were extremely cutting and they scored two beautiful goals, but for some reason the generation of Dusan Tadic and Mitrovic bows out without making much of a blip in the otherwise great history of Serbian football. Is it politics that's kept the breaks on this generation of Serbian footballers? I don't know. I would like to know how the Serb supporters feel about an Albanian and a black guy scoring the first two goals against them.

Now, let's see how the last 16 compare to my predictions from the beginning of the tournament:

Group A: I was mostly bang on, though I didn't expect Ecuador to be as good as they have been. And Senegal have not been as good as I pumped them up to be and they're already out at the hands of England. Though, by God, they can dance!

Group B: Almost! Wales was piss-poor and nobody expected it. Good job USA, although Iran would have been more deserving to qualify.

Group C: Yeah, Mexico have not been quite there. They've done one of the three things I asked them to, so this group was a rather predictable Argentina & Poland.

Group D: It wasn't a clear case of France & Denmark, good job Aussie! I said before, Tunisia beating France was a favor, luckily a useless one.

Group E: See, I thought Spain will be the weakest of the two, but Germany has been a no-show. Well done Japan, the crazy bunch of this tournament, whatever happens. Will they pull one against Croatia too?

Group F: Right, my euro-centrism is showing. I didn't fancy Belgium past the first knock-out game, but even that was too big an ask for them. Well done Morocco for winning the group, and who knows? Spain is a difficult, but not impossible proposition.

Group G: Uh, I have been bang on here. Therefore, here's another prediction: Brazil to win it, with about 70 percent certainty. France might trouble them, unless England troubles France.

Group H: Umm, I was wrong about South Korea, but I think qualifying was unexpected even for them. Portugal are heading towards Switzerland, then Spain. The path is getting rocky.

The first four QF deciders have been extremely predictable. The Netherlands don't have a stellar team like they usually do, but they're highly practical and very organized. I see them as fully capable of taking out Argentina, especially that Argentina has been panting heavily to get here.

The Aussies bow out with their head high, and it's only naivete that stopped them from pulling level against Argentina with less than 10 minutes to go, on two occasions: the left back dribbling through half the Argentinian team first, and the Baccus kid missing a sitter from 10 yards. Ok, the Messi goal was a good one, and I think - much as I dislike him - this is the type of action he likes best and he is best at: coming from the right, finding a shot through the defenders and hitting a really hard, precise ball from about 15 yards out. It's the same kind of goal he scored against Nigeria in 2018 and yes, against United in the 2011 Champions League final. He is obsessed with that movement, that's why he wasted a very promising ball in the closing minutes of the game against Saudi Arabia.

Regardless, my money's on Netherlands.

France versus Poland was a tilted affair from the off, all that was left to find out was how it's gonna happen. Poland have brought the boredom factor to this World Cup. As a team, they have been spectacularly unexciting, though not entirely bad. They are swimming at the edge of mediocrity, with an aging Lewandowski that can still be dangerous, and a relatively well-balanced team who play well together and can be organized and awkward for the opponents, but doesn't quite have a spark to push them towards actually winning football games. Sure, Lewandowski is one of the biggest stars of the game, but for some reason, he isn't - or is no longer - the talent that can carry the team. Case in point, the penalty he needed two attempts to convert.

France, on the other hand, didn't quite shine, but they still won convincingly. Giroud is, by some weirdness of nature, France's top scorer, and this video is bang on. So is the urban tale that Mbappe only scores when the game has already been decided. Although both his goals were pretty cool. Now, can he do it on a hot dry evening in Qatar against England?

England who do look like a serious proposition. Easy dispatch of Senegal tonight, but now comes the real test. If they beat France, they'll probably make the final. Big if there though. Looked good so far, but that's not to say they can't crumble at any point. And they haven't met tough opposition yet.

Senegal going out sadly means there will be no African success story at this World Cup. Morocco is the only team left in the competition and even if they do beat Spain, personally I make a clear distinction between North Africa, which is closer in style and philosophy to the Middle East, and sub-Saharan Africa, where football is played with a smile and in front of a dancing audience. Thank you for the memories Senegal, Cameroon, and Ghana, sorry that this dance is over. But surely, see you in 2026 for more fun!

WC 2022: The Ghana wordplays have been exhausted

Portugal - South Korea 1-2

Uruguay - Ghana 2-0

I have yet to see the conclusion of Brazil's group, I'm watching Switzerland - Serbia as I write this, so I will assess how far off the mark I was in my predictions of the last 16 tomorrow.

I started watching Portugal - South Korea, but after Portugal scored within 5 minutes, I switched to Uruguay - Ghana, as that's the game that will decide the second team to qualify from the group, I thought. Well...

Uruguay - Ghana was an interesting game in itself, without even considering the stakes. Strong echoes of the 2010 quarter-final, made all the more so by the penalty for Ghana. Now, I don't know why Ayew - the only Ghanian player to have played in the 2010 game - shot such a piss-poor penalty. Was he manifesting the collective trauma of the nation, or was it just God pulling a funny? I mean, you're a professional footballer, at a World Cup, you should be able to shake off the pressure. Ayew wasn't.

Then VAR intervened with the offside that never was, but nothing changed but the public's opinion of the overall efficiency of the organizers of this World Cup. It was a clear penalty I thought, as were the two that Uruguay should have had, for the fouls on Darwin Nunez and Cavani in the second half. And normally it shouldn't matter, but now that Uruguay went out on goal difference, they are fully entitled to complain about being eliminated on refereeing mistakes. Of course, the Ghanaians might feel vindicated, in as much as they care at all.

How did South Korea beat Portugal? Normally I'd say it smells like FIFA corruption, which might well be, but I also wouldn't discount the Portuguese sloppiness. knowing they're already qualified. The Koreans brought back their own echoes of 2002 when they reached the semi-finals without deserving it in the least. Did they deserve it this time? I don't think so. Lost to Ghana, were lucky to draw Uruguay, and got three points against a clearly superior team that was playing without a stake. That second place always looked like it was gonna be between Ghana and Uruguay, and the direct game showed Uruguay to be the more deserving team. Turns out, their sub-par performance against South Korea came back to bite them in the ass. 

A sad exit for a number of Uruguayan players who are near the end of their careers, but I wouldn't worry. There's plenty of promising youngsters in their team, and not a lot of people are gonna cry over Suarez not winning the World Cup. But who knows, with a little bit of luck, Facundo Pellistri might.

WC 2022: Broken Axis

Belgium - Croatia 0-0

Morocco - Canada 2-1

Costa Rica - Germany 2-4

Japan - Spain 2-1

Turns out Fiago was right about Belgium going out in the group stages. Technically, it was tight and with a goal in the closing minutes against Croatia they could have qualified. While it was possible, it would have been hugely unfair. Belgium did not look for a moment like a team who's ready to win stuff, but rather like the Belgium of old, in the late 80s and early 90s when they had a lot of star players, but were not really a team.

I'm more disappointed with Croatia, who have put themselves in such a vulnerable position that a stray Belgian goal might've taken them out. I'm disappointed with them because they looked like Belgium's equals, and that's not gonna scare anyone. 

Well done Morocco for winning the group, for not getting scared of the opponent's name, and for building on the brilliant win against Belgium with a comfortable win against a naive and inexperienced Canada. Unfortunately for them, the weird results in Group E mean they will be facing Spain in the first knock-out game, in what will probably be a highly politically charged game.

Although, in all honesty, yeah, no one wants to face Spain, the game is by no means a clear-cut one. Morocco has the strength to beat Spain, and Spain - despite a 7-0 win, has not looked all that scary so far.

And Japan, oh, Japan. You know they're a weird country with their mix of traditional and hi-tech, the tradition of hardcore porn growing within a prude culture, their fetishization of Western culture, and the KFC dinner on Christmas Day. But beating Germany and Spain while losing to Costa Rica might top all of the aforementioned because no anthropologist can explain it.

For anyone who wonders how, there's a bunch of Spaniards ready to yell 'by cheating' but look, the ball was not fully out. We can moan about VAR as much as we want, goal-line technology is pretty precise. And even if the ball was out, seriously, you're Spain playing Japan. If you're gonna hang on for a draw and let a refereeing decision lose you the game, you sort of deserve what you get. I can't really believe Spain played to get second place and play Morocco rather than Croatia. That kind of thinking is small and unattractive and gets punished eventually. Besides, what if Costa Rica beat Germany? It's not like they didn't lead for a moment there.

As for Germany, there will be a lot of write-ups, mostly in German, about how and why they go out in the group stages. I'm just gonna say there is no such thing as 'too big to fail', and also, that I called it, didn't I?

Japan - Croatia is gonna be a tough one for the Asians, so my money is on Croatia. But it wouldn't be the first time they surprise me now, would it?

WC 2022: Just a number of flukes

Tunisia - Australia 0-1

France - Denmark 2-1

Poland - Saudi Arabia 2-0   

Argentina - Mexico 2-0

Belgium - Morocco 0-2

Croatia - Canada 4-1

Japan - Costa Rica 0-1

Spain - Germany 1-1

Cameroon - Serbia 3-3

Brazil - Switzerland 1-0

South Korea - Ghana 2-3

Portugal - Uruguay 2-0

Ecuador - Senegal 1-2

Netherlands - Qatar 2-0

Iran - USA 0-1

England - Wales 3-0

Australia - Denmark 1-0

Tunisia - France 1-0

Poland - Argentina 0-2

Saudi Arabia - Mexico 1-2

Tough weekend, with the regular gigs, a show opening, and a tech all day Monday. I ended up actually seeing quite a bit of football, writing about it has been a different matter. Let's try and catch up.

In group D, Australia has proved itself worthy of being in the World Cup. Ok, they were naive to lose to France from a winning position, but putting yourself in a winning position against France is an achievement in itself. They beat Tunisia, which Denmark wasn't able to, which put them in a position to qualify with a draw against Denmark. But then they beat Denmark. Not the most spectacular team, but taking full advantage of the strengths they do have: stamina, hard work, wearing opponents down. 

Denmark, on the other side, was disappointing. Ok, it can be forgiven that they couldn't beat Tunisia in the first game, even losing 2-1 to France is acceptable, but not showing up against Australia is pitiful. They are the more experience, the more talented and probably the better team, but that stands for nothing if you don't put your soul into the game. Well done Australia for proving me wrong. The funny thing is, Argentina is not even that scary.

Group C, well... so much for me supporting Mexico. In the end, I didn't see a single game of theirs. Probably for the best I didn't see the Argentina one, it would've annoyed the hell out of me. Unfortunately, the Saudis made their win against Argentina look like a fluke. It probably was a fluke. But seriously Saudi Arabia, you've won the most difficult game, hold off and defend for life for two draws in the other two games and you're through. Heroics are useless if you don't follow up, and they didn't.

I did watch both Belgium - Morocco and Croatia - Canada, and they were both spectacular games. OK, Belgium - Morocco didn't really get going until the end, but I thought Morocco fully deserved the win. They had what I thought was a perfectly valid goal canceled from Hakim Ziyech's free kick, and they were the team pressing to win towards the end, in front of a Belgian team whose FIFA ranking is well above their quality. 

Canada will probably go home with 0 points, but life has been harsh on them. Barely losing to Belgium and scoring after 1 minute against Croatia, all good stuff. I thought ill of Croatia after drawing Morocco, but Morocco seems to be a better team than I thought. Unlike Belgium, Croatia's aging team has come to the World Cup to play some football too. They're playing Belgium in a few hours, and I fancy them strongly. But I do like how open the group is before the last game.

Japan, oh Japan. I was watching the game against Costa Rica and I was thinking 'Don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up'. They fucked it up. I would be even tempted to expect more from Japan than Saudi Arabia. I am sympathetic towards Costa Rica mostly since Luis Conejo was wonderful in goal for them at the first World Cup I've ever seen, but it would've been nice for Japan to win. Again, follow-up is everything. Now it will probably be Spain and Germany to qualify. I fully wish Costa Rica to get something against Germany, but I had the exact same feeling in the opening game of the World Cup 2006. It finished 4-2 for Germany.

Because I spent all day in the theatre on Monday, I only saw Brazil - Switzerland, on the day when United players scored all of the goals for the group-winning teams. Only 1-0, and Casemiro's goal came quite late, but there's no denying in who was the better team. Brazil might've played without a keeper. Only problem is, they've been a bit too wasteful with chances in both games so far, and this might end up costing them against an organized team in the knock-out stages. Though to be fair, the only team I see being this organized and being able to keep up with the relentless pace of Brazil is France.

Both Cameroon - Serbia 3-3 and South Korea - Ghana 2-3 seem to have been really spectacular games, so I am sorry to have missed them. Hopefully, I'll get to see Ghana in the knock-out stages, because Uruguay unfortunately is a far cry from the team that almost made the final in 2010.

And since the last round of group games started, life has been tough for the underdogs. Netherlands ended up winning Group A easily, with two wins and a draw, but Ecuador! Perfectly executed game plan against Qatar, getting a draw against the Netherlands and pushing for a win, only to succumb to a rapid response goal from Senegal? It is a shame, as I think Ecuador has been the better team. They played great, except for the last 20 minutes.

Same goes for Iran. Ok, write off the heavy defeat against England, but great game against Wales, just go on and draw against the US. Nope, not if Pulisic has anything to say about it. Just like with Ecuador, I feel Iran is a better team than the US. I've liked American teams historically, but in this tournament, they seem to be over-reliant on Pulisic, and it's not in their makeup to be a star-man team. I don't see them standing a chance against an intensely practical Netherlands.

I'm not gonna comment much on England - Wales as I didn't see the game, yet I knew the score in real-time, thanks to the punters in the pub above our theatre. Sure, well done England. I've said they have a chance to go all the way, but the media might get in the way.

Tunisia beat France yesterday, which is only a mild surprise. The result looks a lot like a favor to a former colony, who would've qualified if Denmark drew Australia. This is why you can't have nice things, France. Not only did Australia qualify, but I also wouldn't put it past them to trouble Argentina a bit in the last 16.

Of course, I wanted Poland to win and eliminate Argentina, but ok, fine. At 2-0 for Argentina I mostly wanted Mexico to score one more and qualify, or for Argentina to score one more and qualify Mexico. But come on, chicos! You can't concede to Saudi Arabis when you need a high-scoring win. Poland goes through without impressing, as does Argentina.

By the way, that Messi penalty? Just a favor for the FIFA darling. What, keepers are no longer allowed to jump for the ball now? Good thing he missed, because he's incompetent. There is a God, and I hope he'll be Australian in the knock-out round.

WC 2022: No more small teams, maybe except Qatar

Wales - Iran 2-0

Senegal - Qatar 3-1

Netherlands - Ecuador 1-1

England - USA 0-0

The first day of the second round was a great one. I didn't start out with a favorite in Wales - Iran, but by the time Iran opened the scoring, I found myself cheering for them. Red card on the Welsh keeper was a bit harsh, I thought. It was a strong collision, but he went for the ball and there was no malicious intent toward the player. Besides, a red card always throws the game off-balance. Not that Wales would have gotten more from the game, but the red card throws a shadow over the Iranian victory, which was thoroughly deserved. A lot has been said about politics at this World Cup, and the Iranians are bringing the right kind of politics into it: clearly stating their position in regard to the social turbulence in their country, and the better they do in this competition, the more they can inspire their compatriots to push for change.

Kudos to them for keeping their mental composure after the battering against England. They do now have a great chance at qualifying, though it's not to be taken for granted. USA has played two very good games and is unlucky not to be on 4 points, rather than 2. So USA - Iran is gonna be a VERY interesting game!

England will probably win the group, as Wales have been poor and I don't really see them getting anything from the last game. I haven't seen any of the England - USA game, but I'm really happy with the outcome. All the pubs were full to the brim - England playing in the World Cup on a Friday evening, and both Maria and I were dreading the prospect of a high-scoring game, which would have punctuated our show with regular shouts. Such is the nature of Barons Court Theatre that when a loud event happens in the pub upstairs, we hear it. So our desire for an uneventful game has been heard by the theatre gods.

Group A also has an interesting battle for second place. I saw the first half of Senegal - Qatar, and although it's obvious that Qatar is one of the weakest teams in the tournament and Senegal won easily, I thought Ecuador brought a better game plan. Which showed against the Netherlands as well. I mean, the sensible bet is an easy win for Netherlands, and it looked like that after the early goal. But there's so many things that the Ecuadorian team does well, and so much to admire about them, that in the end it almost felt like they deserved more than the 1-1.

They are super-disciplined; maybe only South Korea can maintain the formation as well as they do, from what I've seen. They have their soul in the game, and they work really hard. Add to this a bit of South American technique and flair, and a couple of star players - current or in the making - and you get one of the most exciting teams at this World Cup outside the big boys' club.

Of course, it can all fall flat in the last game against Senegal, though somehow I doubt it will. It's gonna be tight and dramatic, but it matters a lot that Ecuador has the option of a draw as well. And judging by the closing minutes of the game against the Netherlands - when they slowed down a touch and signaled they'd settle for a draw, they are good at game management as well, something I've only seen in Brazil and France so far.

So yeah, I'd go England, Iran, Netherlands, Ecuador from here.

WC 2022: Balla la Portugesa

Switzerland - Cameroon 1-0

Brazil - Serbia 2-0

Portugal - Ghana 3-2

Uruguay - South Korea 0-0

Just as I was complaining yesterday that I don't get to watch enough games, I actually manage to see a good chunk of each. I watched the first hour of Switzerland - Cameroon, and I thought, for the first half at least, Cameroon played better. Goes to show, playing better stands for naught if you don't take advantage of the time you have the ball. Switzerland came out of the dressing room with a lot more purpose and scored immediately. Not sure how the rest of the half panned out, but I think the direction of the game might've reverted a bit.

What with a number of Swiss players having Albanian roots, I imagine they'll be merciless against Serbia, which means Cameroon can already book the plane home. Shame, really, but a reminder that at this level of the game it's all about small margins with immense consequences.

A big plus of this World Cup is the strength of African teams. We're moving away from having the one African sensation, and more and more towards having Africa represented to a level close to Europa and South America. Cameroon, Ghana, Senegal have all brought strong, respectable teams, while Tunisia and Morocco are bringing the Maghrebian African representation. Add to this the love of football and the growth of the game in the Middle East, and the beautiful game is truly going global.

I mean, yes, Ghana lost to Portugal, but they gave a great account of themselves, drawing level on 1 and making the Portuguese nervous after that second goal. Portugal played well, dominated the game and are deserving winners, yet the result somehow still feels harsh on Ghana. I remember their 2-2 draw against Germany in 2014 as one of the best game of the tournament, yet Ghana still had nothing to show for it, and were eliminated in the group stage despite being equals of the eventual world champions.

They still stand a chance this time around, despite an impressive Portugal display the group is still wide open. Anything can happen in Uruguay - Portugal and I wouldn't even put it past the Koreans to hold off for a draw against the Lusitans. I mean, yeah, Uruguay was the slightly better team against South Korea, but judging by the first half, a draw feels like the fair result.

Uruguay is a few notches below that beautiful team of 2010, while South Korea bring the typical SE-Asian insane amount of effort to the table, backed by a strong discipline. It's amazing how well the Koreans were keeping the shape of their formation throughout. Plus the spark of Son, always a goal threat.

And lastly, Brazil. Luckily I saw the whole game, and it finally feels like the Celesao have put the horrible 2014 defeat to Germany behind them. The Brazilian game was pure poetry, and there was only ever going to be one winner. 2-0 makes me feel that the Serbs actually got away with it a little bit. And of course, THAT Richarlison goal! Without a doubt goal of the tournament so far!

The Serbs gave a poor account of themselves, but even if they had played better, I don't think it would have made much difference. Brazil doesn't have the stellar line-up of the 90s or 00s, but give them a month, they might just become one.

So with the first round of group games over, I feel like England, France, Spain, Brazil and Portugal are looking really strong, while Argentina and Germany are the disappointments. Of course, nothing is decided just yet, but I do dare say the future world champions will be one of the five above.

WC 2022: Mina no nihongo

Croatia - Morocco 0-0

Germany - Japan 1-2

Spain - Costa Rica 7-0

Belgium - Canada 1-0

It does annoy me no end I don't get to watch enough football. And while some might argue about what exactly 'enough' means, I think 8 hours of football a day is just about right. 'Oh, but can it be any football?' Of course not, but this is the World Cup! We'll get to the tough games soon, but actually, I like it when it's not all Brazil - Argentina or Netherlands - Germany. The more exotic the better! Qatar v Ecuador? Brilliant! Croatia v Morocco? When else do I have the opportunity to learn something about either of these countries?

And my oh my, so much of my knowledge of geography and geopolitics comes from watching football!

It's even worse when I don't see a game that finishes 0-0, as then I have no indication as to who played what. In my book, Croatia - Morocco was a clear win for the Croatians, but apparently not. Who knows, maybe there is something to Sammy Eto's predictions and Morocco will make the final. (Spoiler alert: they won't) 

With Belgium playing poorly and Canada the other contender, Morocco have put themselves in a good position with this result. My money is still on Belgium & Croatia, but we'll see.

Same thing with Belgium - Canada. Upon seeing the score, I'm tempted to think it's a predictable win and that Belgium could've probably scored more. The reviews paint a different picture though, saying Canada was the more offensive team and they missed a penalty. So I don't know. Both Belgium and Croatia have aging teams, so the premises are there to see an upset in this group.

Talking about upsets... Germany! Not only did they lose to Japan, but the Japanese were worthy winners. Yes, Germany had more possession and attacked more, but that doesn't mean anything when you can't convert chances. Japan, on the other hand, were absolutely clinical in front of goal and were unlucky not to score again in the closing minutes. Of course, substitute Takuma Asano will be rightfully hailed as the hero of the game, but Japan were true to the football we have come to expect from them: never stop running. Add to this some purposefulness in front of goal, and you can beat anyone. Even a German team lacking direction.

This result makes for a very interesting Group E, the one I thought was the most interesting anyway. Though, to be fair, I expected more from Costa Rica. Tiny country, but with an immense love of football, and they always give a good account of themselves in the World Cup. Not so much last night. I only saw Spain's 7th goal, which was conceded extremely easy, but the scoreline leaves little doubt about the kind of battering it must've been. Poor Keylor Navas, this must've been the revenge of an entire La Liga frustrated by all the losses to Real Madrid. 

So fair to say Spain has won the group. I am hoping for some sort of Costa Rican revival - a draw with Germany might well be on the cards, why not? I don't see Japan getting anything against Spain, but if they play the game of their lives against Costa Rica, it doesn't even matter. And here's a long shot from me: Germany eliminated from the groups come next week, but winning the World Cup in 2026.

You heard it here first.

WC 2022: 4 hours of 0

The first day of 4 matches, and I actually watched them all today - very likely the only day I'll manage to do that. Just as well, we had 4 hours of football without a goal. But sometimes is not about that.

Argentina - Saudi Arabia 1-2

He's not the best of all time, he's not the best of his time, he's not even the best Argentinian of his generation, that accolade goes to Aguero. Scored from a fictional penalty, but missed from 16 yards with a clear line of shot, with 10 minutes to go and 1 goal down, for the sake of doing an extra turn. Kudos to the Saudis for not shying away from the fight, and coming out deserved winners. Yeah, there was some bit of running down the clock at the end there, hence the 6 yellow cards, but towards the end of the game it was the Saudi keeper asking the doctors to move faster. Well done, Saudi Arabia, only one more step towards qualification. By the way, what's your human rights record like?

Denmark - Tunisia 0-0

Relatively dull game, getting slightly more animated towards the end. I am disappointed in Denmark, and pleasantly surprised by how well Tunisia held their own. It's probably not gonna be enough, but going home proud of the performances is still something. I thought both teams should've had a penalty for handball, the Danish handball a bit more obvious, but it didn't happen equally. So bad refereeing still, only in this case two wrongs did make a right.

Mexico - Poland 0-0

I thought Lewandovski's penalty was soft as well. He missed, so it doesn't matter. Bit of a waiting game this one, feels like the teams were afraid to be too aggressive. Poland had the physicality, Mexico had the speed and technique, but neither knew how to use their talents for maximum advantage. This group is now wide open, and no one is guaranteed a spot. 

Australia - France 1-4

Brilliant start for the Socceroos, but at the end of the day it was a typical men against boys. Once they got going, France looked in control and completely dominated. Nothing to be ashamed of, ozzies, you did your best and that's all anyone can ask for. The gulf in class is simply too wide.

Two more heavyweights starting tomorrow, Germany and Spain, and they're in the same group! Let's see how that pans out!

WC 2022: It might come home

It has started, and the politics interwoven with football is set to continue, and it might be that the story at the end of the month will be that this World Cup is a failure, mostly for off-pitch reasons. I will, however, stay interested in what happens on the actual pitch. That's where the football is. All the rest is white noise.

Qatar - Ecuador 0-2

This is actually the only game of the first 4 that I watched in full, recorded, last night. The Qataris were poor, poorer than I expected, while Ecuador executed a perfect game plan. Score early to impose, don't let them get in the game, and don't let the crowd get behind them. Now, that early goal was canceled because of an offside that will probably go into history books for the technology used to find it. Otherwise, no one in their right mind would have thought that's an off-side. And it kind of feels that rules might need to change soon so that they keep up with technology.

Otherwise, Ecuador is a nice surprise. Weak opponents, true, but they'll be more of a challenge than I initially thought. Bad news for Senegal.

Senegal - Netherlands 0-2

Senegal had the energy and technique, while the Netherlands had the experience and maturity. Going by the first half an hour, the Dutch looked a bit clumsy and unsure in attack, but fully in control of the outcome. They will win the group with relative ease, but things might get sticky for them in the knockout stages.

England - Iran 6-2

Well done England! I haven't seen much of the game, but the scoreline is emphatic and it looks like I was right when I said that England, for the first time in my lifetime, has a real shot at winning it. Southgate has found a good formula for the team, and that lost Euro final did them good. Now they're ready to take the extra step.

USA - Wales 1-1

I'm glad Mark got to see the game live and I'm surprised Wales didn't win this easily. But I've seen nothing of the game, so I'm now curious to see SUA playing. Their game against Iran will be interesting, but the surrounding hype will probably be mostly about politics.

First four games day tomorrow. Let's see how that pans out, and how much Amsterdam really cares about it.

WC 2022: Human rights aside

Straight out with it: I'm excited about this World Cup. I don't even think it's special; I'm as excited as about any World Cup. But Leo, it's in Qatar!

Well, let's see what that means: it's a nation with virtually no football history. Ah, like South Africa 2010, or Japan & Korea 2002 you mean? But isn't one of the points of the World Cup to expand the reach of the beautiful game, to move into countries, continents, and territories with no tradition of football, and make new generations and new cultures dream of achievements that include a ball?

But Qatar is controversial because of human rights abuses! True. And how lucky that football is here to help with that! When we're talking about human rights abuses, what is it exactly that we care most about?

Too many workers died when building the stadiums. I know, it's deeply regrettable, as is the exploitation of cheap labor force from SE Asia in Qatar and throughout the Middle East. And I don't want to come across as insensitive in any way, but it does feel like a solution for this should come from UN, not FIFA. Why did we not protest as the workers were dying? Why were there no administrations, sanctions, bans or investigative committees into Qatari construction sites 3-4 years ago? Because, by the way, construction workers are being exploited and dying now, while building stuff that isn't stadiums. Why do we not stop that?

Discrimination against LGBT+ and women in Qatar. The most valid point of protesting this World Cup. Unfortunately, these are two areas where the beautiful game itself is behind society. It is deeply troublesome that in this day and age there are only a handful of publicly gay professional footballers, just as troublesome as the huge pay gap between men's and women's games. Look, I know we got problems. We're working on them.

No alcohol sale during World Cup. Oh weah! While I do agree this makes for a poor fan experience, it's a commercial rather than a political issue. Boycott the world cup because it doesn't sell beer is actually a very valid position. So there'll be less US & European fans in the stands. I can see the downside to it, but I can also see the upside of 1.2 million Saudis watching the World Cup. Swings and roundabouts, really.

But it's in the winter! Look... I don't like it. Less work in the summer means I usually can get more time off to watch the games. Means that I usually see a good chunk of the tournament somewhere sunny and where the sea is close. This time around, I'm having a really busy and quite stressful time during the World Cup, and I'll struggle to watch as many games as I'd like. Having said that, there'll be none of the players and commentators complaining about the long and hard season they had. In fact, this World Cup takes place when players should be in peak form, so hopefully, it will impact the football positively. It might affect the form of the teams for a few games after the World Cup, but all the better: it makes the domestic leagues more interesting!

But Qatar only won because they bribed national federations! Oh my God, don't tell me FIFA is corrupt! By this point, I am fully aware that all my arguments are personal preference rather than apology. And it's true that I don't like it - I don't think anyone does - that such a treasured and far-reaching cultural phenomenon as football is controlled by one of the most corrupt organizations on Earth, but somehow it doesn't feel like the solution comes from the pitch. By all means, investigate, arrest and disgrace all FIFA officials, it that is what it takes, but what can the players do? Any breakaway attempts have resulted in much worse ventures, and the men in suits will quickly hijack any successful initiative that comes from the pitch. This is a structural issue we have in society at large, not just in football. 

So yeah, Qatar makes for a controversial host. Clearly. But are we aware that the previous tournament was held in Russia? Or that the second World Cup ever, in 1934, was held in Mussolini's Italy, and the cheating was as blatant as it was overt? Clearly, the World Cup and the whole gigantic machinery of football has huge problems. We are trying hard to ringfence the basics against them though: it's 11v11 and a ball. Ok, stop bringing match-fixing in the conversation!

For a neutral, none of my arguments stand. They're not meant to convince. I wouldn't be convinced by them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm excited and will watch the World Cup despite the huge issues surrounding it. Because - and this is an argument I use a lot - if we'd let all of the world's problems be sorted by a game of 11v11 with a ball on a grass pitch, we'd have a lot less of them. The issues start once we step out of the grass pitch.

Ok, one hour of apologies and 2 minutes of talking about football, which might be a good indicator of how the whole tournament might pan out.

I'll quickly take a look at the groups, and we'll reconvene here once the group stage is over to see how I've fared.

Group A: As much as I have good memories of Ecuador, and of the beautiful teams they bring to the WC, of Agustin Delgado or Antonio Valencia, they are a small team and I don't see them coming out of a group with Netherlands and Senegal. It does look like Senegal might be the strong African team, and they're always making a statement, I wouldn't even mind if it's this year that an African team finally makes it through the quarters and into the semi-final. We'll see. Qatar will probably finish last, and the world will rejoice.

Group B: Iran, oh Iran! In a group with US and England, there'll be plenty of scope to talk politics around the games. And hopefully, some of that will help the cause of women in Iran, and of the Iranian people in general. The nightmare they're living through has lasted for too long. They won't go out of the group, but they can still help their nation, which is probably more important. England and Wales will go forward, sorry USA.

Group C: Somehow I'm always sympathetic towards Mexico. Maybe it's the good football they're playing, maybe it's all the books I've read as a child about Mexico '70. But this year I will cheer them on even more than usual, and hopefully I'll get to see some of the games together with my Mexican brothers from Cuckoo. Will they qualify? Tricky, but not impossible. Hold off for a draw with Poland, or even beat Poland, score a lot against Saudi Arabia and make the game against Argentina redundant.  So hopefully it will be Mexico and Argentina going forward. Even Mexico and Poland, if we let ourselves dream a bit.

Group D: Haha, Australia always hold their own well. It will come to naught, this is a clear case of France and Denmark, but we'll have good games. I don't know much about Tunisia, their game against Australia will be interesting. This group is very predictable, but will probably be very spectacular.

Group E: It might look like a clear-cut Spain and Germany, but if Spain are not careful, both Costa Rica and Japan will be ready to take their place. It's not gonna be a walk in the park is what I'm saying.

Group F: Yeah, this is dull. Belgium and Croatia will qualify. Morocco might try something and, while we welcome Canada to their first ever World Cup, this game is not played with sticks.

Group G: Ok, Brazil have a point to prove and some image to defend, clear winners. But second? Switzerland or Serbia? My gut says Switzerland, I'll even go as far as saying Cameroon will finish above Serbia.

Group H: Uhh, hard to forget Ghana's heartbreak in South Africa 2010, what with Suarez's hand of the cannibal and missed penalty in the last minute - God bless your soul Asamoah Gyan, because he sure didn't bless your boot. This time around, I don't see Ghana going as far as back then. Portugal and Uruguay to go through, with Portugal hopefully winning the whole thing, please and thank you. I know, I know, Ronaldo talked to Piers Morgan and this fact alone is enough to disqualify someone as a human being in my eyes. But look, Portugal can win stuff without Ronaldo, too! Remember Euro 2008? Yeah, more of that please. Oh, South Korea are also in this group. Well, good luck Son!

Anyways, I'm late for work. Apparently, Qatar will win 1-0 this afternoon, because it's fixed. Go put all of your savings on a bet for correct score if you're that convinced. Oh, you're not?

Also, can someone please translate this song in Portugese for me?

Old Friends

Pink Martini, Royal Albert Hall, 13 October 2022

Tonight was the 7th time I saw Pink Martini live, and it's surprising I never wrote about them. It was probably ordinated then that for some reason some random memories of the first time I saw them popped in my head.

2007, Sala Palatului, Bucharest. I was a cameraman for that gig and did not know about Pink Martini other than all the local hip press was raving about them and about the fact they decided to include Bucharest on their tour. Tonight, when I saw them on stage, playing all the weird random instruments, I got reminded of how the sound techs for the Bucharest gig - used to 4-5 piece rock bands - were complaining about the difficulty of getting the sound right for this many people with this many instruments.

15 years, 7 gigs and many hours listening to their music later, seeing Pink Martini live is like seeing old friends. The music is just as good as it was back in 2007 when I became a stronger convert in those two hours than Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus. But the best thing about a Pink Martini gig - and this has been true for all of them - is the joy emanating from the stage, the lack of any separation between artists and audience and yeah, this idea that we're not however many people watching a gig - we're just a bunch of friends brought together by music.

They have a new gimmick now. They ask people to request songs at the interval, then they read the requests. Which does sound gimmicky, until you start hearing the stories. The one that has seen tens of Pink Martini gigs, the one that has dreamt of seeing one for years and it finally happened; the one who traveled across continents, the one who got cancer since last time, or the one that has gotten rid of it; the one who has a friend or relative that died and the one who got a new partner. Or a new child. The whole of life is contained in those weird pieces of paper that China reads, some of them written in lipstick.

And it's the first time I've seen them after the pandemic, which made the feeling of reunion all that much stronger. And the first time I saw miss Edna Vazquez, which I'm listening to at the moment. The latest recruit, and a real discovery!

The first words, 'Siempre queue te pregunto', the opening lyric of Quizas, were delivered from the very depths of her Latin-American soul, and it was a long way back to the light of the Royal Albert Hall. She also had the courage to take on 'Pana cand nu te iubeam', and did a solid job of it. I think Maria Tanase is ok, and Pana cand nu te iubeam is certainly not her best song, but hearing Romanian sung by a world famous American band at the Royal Albert Hall will move something in any Romanian soul, and I feel privileged to have witnessed that. Edna was certainly the MVP on the night, and her third moment, singing an ancient Maya song to open the encore, was also magic.

Not to take anything away from China. Fabulous as always, and her voice as good as always, with an extra layer of melancholy, probably from the pandemic. And overall, much higher density of Middle-Eastern songs, I thought. She sang in Turkish, Arabic, Persian, Hebrew, Greek and Croatian and I doubt there are many singers in the world that can cover all of that in one night.

So yeah, Pink Martini, where the music is fabulous, but it's only the background. Go for the music, stay for the friends. I'm already looking forward to the next one!

When I saw Meow Meow's gig at Royal Festival Hall in 2016 I asked Thomas what his favorite venue is. He said the Royal Albert Hall, which surprised me, because acoustically and in terms of layout and relationship with the Audience, I don't think the Albert is that great a venue. But yeah, it's spectacular, and you can't compete with the history, I suppose.

I last saw them at Le Grand Rex in Paris, and I think Le Grand Rex is the better venue. I saw Bob Dylan at RAH in 2015 and it's a funny twist of destiny that tomorrow I will see Bob Dylan at Le Grand Rex. Not entirely sure what I've done to deserve this but by Jove, I am enjoying it. So yeah, tonight was great! Catching an early train to Paris tomorrow.

Edinburgh Fringe 2022 - Days 3 & 4

Right, it's getting a bit late now, almost a week since I got back from Edinburgh, I might as well finish the round-up of shows. And I left it the last show I saw on Wednesday,

Flat and the Curves, V7, 22.35 - a show I wanted to see because of the woman with no ego, by the name of Arabella Rodrigo (how cool a name is that?). I know Arabella from working on a show by Greg Mosse in 2019, and I've tried to follow and even book Flat and the Curves before, without much success. It's only partially my fault (ok, the bigger part). But they don't have much of their stuff online, to the point where I can't find my favorite songs from the show online at all. Might be for the better, Fascinating Aida does the same, and it feels like this increases their pull as a live act. 

I knew they're a 'risque' act, though not quite to what extent. The blurb describes them as 'salacious' though I'm not sure what's the most appropriate word to convey both the amount of anatomical detail they sing about and the hilarious way in which they do it. This is the Extra-Spice Girls (or rather, XXXtra-Spice Girls?). All the glitter, glitz, and glam in appearance, with content as lewd as an after-hour tavern of ill repute. An unknowing patron taking a punt on this show would take quite some time to adjust to its content.

Having said that, it was great fun. Loved the glitzy costumes, great vocals, belly laughs. You know how they say a child listening to Mozart in the womb comes out better adjusted? I am so looking forward to see how Arabella's kid - due at the end of September, will come out after a healthy dose of F&tC.

18 August

Finding myself with the Friday off, I extended my stay by one day, which meant I somewhat relaxed my pace, but came up with a higher show count anyway.

Work.txt, V26, 13.15 - my third time seeing work.txt and while the show is just as brilliant it felt like my marginal enjoyment of it is taking a dip. This is a show best enjoyed when you don't know much about it, whereas I have become somewhat obsessed with it. And most of the fuckers in the audience were in the know, which tells me most of the audience was not there for the first time. This took away some of the surprise element of the show, though once it got going it didn't really matter. It is smartly adapted to the space (they did this both at The Bunker and at Soho) and that audience rendition of Celine Dion at the end is just as priceless. Work.txt is revolutionary, and that's not me toying with words, that's a fact.

Waterloo, V26, 17.45 - A soldier who has killed people? A married man who's up for a fling? Whoever has heard anything like this before? Bron Batten's show is certainly not the worst, there are a lot of elements I liked about it: the special effects, the audience interaction, the sociological element, and no least the performance itself. My objection is mainly to the subject matter, which is a lot more mundane than she's asking us to believe. No matter, with a bit of polishing of the writing, I could get fully into it. Though Bron does herself no favors with the bullish attitude she has online. You have to come to the show; you have to stay until the end; you have to laugh in the right moments, applaud in the right moments; you have to get involved in all the games. A lot of have-to-s for an audience who, at the end of the day, does not owe the performer anything other than maybe common courtesy. I had to leave the show early; it's Edinburgh and shows overlap. Bron's complaining about it online almost ruined my whole day. And certainly didn't increase my appreciation of her show.

Two Fingers Up, V26, 18.30 - recommended by the Irish contingent, I went to this show with Amy Molloy. Unfortunately, both Amy and I are past the age where the issues of the show concern us. Because otherwise, Two Fingers Up is a very funny and very sweet take on the discovery of sexuality and growing up. Specifically, as a girl. More specifically, as a girl in Catholic Ireland. Where apparently sex education is horrendous, but then again, is there any place where it's good? Here's how it could be made better though: have this show touring in all the schools and have all the children aged 12-18 watch it. But apparently, the Catholic Church is not willing to pay for a show that undermines its authority. Too bad for the Catholic Church.

Reuben Kaye: The Butch is Back, V322, 21.30 - You get to know a man. You realize he's gay. Like, very gay. The gayest. Like, most of his persona is about the gayness. And you think to yourself: this is it. This person cannot be any gayer. And yet... when Reuben opened the show with his frame in the double doorway backlit by a purple light and surrounded by haze, I felt like exclaiming, exactly like Pontius Pilate: Ecce homo!

The truth is, no matter how much of a sell-out how successful he has become, I'll probably always be fanboying Reuben. For good reason. His humor is just as sharp, his vocal work just as outstanding as I remembered them, if not more so. It's really just the flamboyance that's gone up a notch (bigger budget). And he opens with a Leonard Cohen song! 

I do feel like his show is becoming a bit cryptic. Like, the jokes are delivered at such a pace and the humor is so self-referential that for someone seeing the show for the first time, there's a lot to untangle, and not a lot of time to breathe. The addition I do like is the core story, incredibly powerful and with a long after-taste.

It is amazing how much talent this man person oozes. Go see Reuben while you can still afford a ticket!

What does it mean to you?, V236, 23.15 - recommended by Gigi Guizado, this show has a lot of promise. Unfortunately, in the version that I saw, not a lot of it comes to fruition. It's a great idea to turn the theatre into a nightclub, have the audience greeted by a bouncer then take them on a journey through various types of nightclubs while offering as close as possible to a nightclub experience. But there's something missing. This cannot be it. The show needs either a more solid story or a better-built structure. And it certainly needs more of a resolution, because what it's got now is just a flat stop that left me with the feeling that it ended because the time was up. It needs to leave us with a message, a flat ending does nothing but cancels some of the good stuff that came before. So, good idea, and I hope it's taken further, but certainly more development is needed. 

19 August

August Wilson's How I Learned What I Learned, V20, 11.20 - being a fan of Fences, this show caught my eye. One of the ones I took a punt on, and I'm so glad I did! The script is incredibly powerful, the acting is so convincing that for most of the show I could feel it's actually August Wilson talking to me, the direction is incredibly effective while staying simple and discreet. I saw a lot of shows at this year's festival, and a lot of them have been good and waaay too diverse to be able to make any sort of hierarchy, but this one was certainly one of my favorites. This show is this year's 'I'd like to look at the script' and it will certainly stay with me for a good while. Hats off to the entire company!

Period Dramas, V33, 14.10 - Heather invited me on Twitter to her show, and going back to the Pleasance Courtyard brought back memories of 2015, when we did Teaset there. The idea of having a look at women's periods and how they've been looked at through history is a great one, but the documentation for the show is relatively superficial and the execution feels rushed to make it in time for the festival. It's ok to do things on a shoestring and with a tight deadline, but then expect the reactions to not match the ones for Melissa Carnesky. I mention Melissa Carnesky as I think she is the ultimate showbiz authority for women's periods. She has a PhD on it. And granted, that's overkill for creating a show. Heather has certainly done some research into the topic, but Ancient Egypt - Ancient Greece - Elizabeth - Victoria sounds like a taster history class more than an in-depth look. The most successful and interesting bits are the ones on ancient sources, the least successful bits of the show are the cabaret bits. There's a reason why cabaret and circus performers dedicate their whole waking time to their craft: it's the only way to master it.

So overall not a bad show, but only halfway there.

Chuck Salmon: Pool Noodles, V88, 16.00 - A recommendation from Paggy Gancheva, who also recommended Joe Wells, which I greatly enjoyed. Chuck Salmon is a long-form sketch comedy group full of good intentions. They're cute, and they're show is an ode to silly entertainment. I feel like if I was in a better frame of mind I would've enjoyed it more. I also feel there's something about on-stage sketch comedy that doesn't quite click for me. Maybe my lack of panto education, who knows? I'll stay on the fence on Chuck Salmon for now, but I'll keep an eye out for them. I'd certainly like to see them again. It will become clearer.

My Leonard Cohen, V20, 18.10 - Uhh, a tricky one. I saw Stewart D'Arietta in 2017 and my opinion is largely similar: reinterpretation rather than a tribute act. And Stewart is honest: MY Leonard Cohen might not be the same as YOUR Leonard Cohen and there's no pretension of being THE Leonard Cohen. Singing the songs for the pleasure of singing them rather than recreating them as a service to the public. We're both huge Leonard Cohen fans, Stewart and I. He's probably the bigger one, given that, you know, has a show about Leonard. That doesn't stop me to disagree with some of his interpretations. Or his setlist. Leonard Cohen has publicly distanced himself from Chelsea Hotel and would never perform it live, for instance. Stewart does. Who's to judge the value of that? I also think Stewart is at times superficial in understanding Leonard's biography. But I might be the one in the wrong. 

At the end of the day, I will never attend another Leonard Cohen concert. This is an opportunity for both Stewart and me to express that yearning and regret. 

His setlist was:

You Want it Darker

Tower of Song

Bird on a Wire

Suzanne

Dance me to the End of Love

Chelsea Hotel

So Long Marianne 

A Thousand Kisses Deep

I’m Your Man

Closing Time 

Hallelujah 

Tiger Lillies: One Penny Opera, V302, 21.20 - I've heard a lot about The Tiger Lillies, and a lot of good things. I didn't quite listen to them as much as I wanted, but with Foil Arms and Hog, Reuben, and Abandoman all sold out, this was a good opportunity to finally see them live. I'm really glad I did. They live up to the hype. Among the many good things I could say about their show, the first one is that they're really good at creating atmosphere. With only incredibly basic costume changes, a few words here and there, and through the power of music, I really felt transported in this magical fantasy place where the Weimar Republic, the Soho of mid 20th century and the inter-war Balkan provincial fairs meet. Tiger Lillies sing and embody a lot of things I like: the music of Kurt Weill, the outcasts, the misfits, cabaret, freedom, loss, and adventure. And they're incredibly good musicians, not only masters of their chosen instruments but also explorers of the limits of music, using the old-fashioned accordion as a centerpiece or using a handsaw as a violin. Plus, who can resist a good theremin?

Best of Burlesque Encore, V3, 23.55 - in doubted on whether to go for a late show or not, I was prompted by Seb Marques to do so. It was good to see Seb and catch up, better yet to do it on the background of a chilled, relaxed, late evening show. Pleasantly surprised to see Neil Kelso as a compere, though I didn't recognize any of the other acts. Partly because I don't think any of them were London based. And, having recently expressed discomfort at how Burlesque Idol turns the art of burlesque into a completion, it would be disingenuous of me to start classifying the acts. It was a great show. The one act that stayed with me the most was the Thai girl balancing a burning sword on her head. Another great example of combining a number of things I like.

And that was that. 25 shows over 4 days, and my assessment of them coming too late to be useful for the performers. For what it's worth, I feel I have enjoyed this edition of the festival the most yet, possibly due to missing it for two years. Rising prices, inaccessibility, ever more challenging conditions, all true, but the spirit of the festival is still there. Along with the desire to keep going, to change, to innovate, to make better. And make better we shall. Until next year, Edinburgh!

Edinburgh Fringe 2022 - days 1 & 2

I spoke a lot this past few days about the shows at Edinburgh Fringe in terms of quantity, and by any standard, 15 shows in 2 days is A LOT. I wouldn't have it any other way though, I would see more if it wasn't for the travel time between venues. And would you look at that, I've seen like, 0.5% of the shows at the festival since yesterday morning.

A lot of the shows I'm seeing this year, I have a connection with, one way or another. Therefore, any attempt to review what I've seen with any pretense of objectivity would be doomed. It's a plug for most, if not all of them, as I always recommend seeing as many shows as possible.

Most of all, this is a record of what I've seen, and my first impressions of it. Impressions that could be spot on or far off, or both at the same time, depending on who's reading them. Anyway, here we go:

16 August:

Fan Girl, V156, 11.10 - Fresh off the bus and trying to see Joe Wells, as recommended by Paggy Gancheva, I ventured into the unknown of this show, with a poster where someone pasted a face on top of Cantona's t-shirt. Specifically - I was going to find out - the face of Bryony Byrne, 35yo from St Albans, used to play football in Secondary School. Interactive, full of 90s nostalgia, and an enthrallment with Cantona, there was no way I wasn't gonna connect with this show at some level. Heavy quoting from Cantona on Cantona is unfair, that's a photo album more than anything, but reliving THAT goal against Southampton in 1996 evens things out. Not perfect, but not bad. I'd like to see it again. After all, St Albans to London is an easy commute.

Having failed to get in to Joe Wells, which was full, I headed towards St George's Square to see

In the Name of the Son, V17, 13.10 - This is the story of Gerry Conlon, played by Daniel Day-Lewis in the Oscar-nominated 'In the Name of the Father' (1993). The story of Gerry Conlon, but with a focus on the later years, after he got out of his 15-years-long wrongful imprisonment. I wanted to see the show because I know Shaun Blaney, the lead, and I like his writing. Turns out, I love his acting, too! A tour-de-force performance, 80 minutes of intense physicality, jumping through accents, characters, timelines, and then some literal jumping around. I can only imagine what a tiring show it is, but as far as audiences are concerned, it's a feat! And the acting is simply outstanding. Solid 5 stars show!

Stand-up Philosophy, V170, 14.30 - It is often that some practitioners of philosophy accuse others of being frauds. That's mostly down to humanity not managing to agree on what Philosophy is. I am pretty sure that what I've seen at The Counting House yesterday is not philosophy. Philosophy as a performance art is, in my humble opinion, under-explored and under-rated. Philosophy can be funny, useful, instructive, thought-provoking, cathartic, and all of them together. Not this show though. This was a stand-up with the word 'philosophy' thrown in because the MC used to teach philosophy. And the most philosophical contributions came from the audience. The acts? The acts were not overly sure who Aristotle was. 

Fascinating Aida, V8, 18.00 - I missed them in London in May and relished the chance to see them here. I knew they're good, I didn't realize quite how legendary they are. Going for nigh on 40 years, loads of TV content under their belt, solid solo careers, multi-disciplinary artists, Fascinating Aida are absolute top when it comes to comedy song. And we have recently established that I like comedy song as a genre. I also realized what a simp I am, wanting to see them live after only knowing their most famous song. The one that 'went fungal'. But come on! It is an amazing song!

Medea the Musical, V152, 19.20 - Maria, the director, will be performing at Barons Court in November, so obviously I wanted to see more of her work. I'm glad I did. This is an entertaining production of a deconstructed musical much in the style of Jesus Christ Superstar the movie. At the Fringe, objective conditions force you to go minimalistic more often than not, and when the show requires a higher production value, a Fringe production can feel inadequate. I'd like to see this Medea on a bigger stage. But for what it was, it worked. I hope it's a work in progress because there's lots of room for improvement, but the structure is there. The songs are good, and this is the most important part. The reinterpretation of the Medea myth starts out with a good idea, but it needs more refining. Overall, this is a student production and it feels like it. Having said that, I feel I'm more condescending than maybe I should most times when I say 'student production'.

Tatty McLeod, V515, 21.15 - I know Tatty from TikTok, I wanted to see her anyway, I had her scheduled for tomorrow. But I saw her when running between Gordon Aikman Theatre and Paradise at the Augustine and she convinced me to come to that evening's show. Tatty does a very good job on TikTok, making fun of French and English national stereotypes, but I think she's even better live. With good stage presence, smart and spontaneous, Tatty delivers a funny and well-structured show. Story-telling more than stand-up if you ask me, but you didn't, so there.

And that was my day 1. Early finish and big break in the middle to check in the hotel, Fascinating Aida the highlight.

17 August:

Dr Bubble and Milkshake, V38, 10.10 - Iulia and Kurt were kind enough to invite me to both their shows, and this was a great start to the day! Really, really cute and funny show, with the children in the audience having an absolute blast! Also, perfect way to get children interested in physics.

Joe Wells: I am autistic, V156, 12 - haha! This time I came prepared for Joe Wells and I got in! (jk: I ran between venues and got to the Banshee 2 minutes before the house opened). Either way, I am very glad I saw Joe Wells. His set is absolutely hilarious, better than a lot of stadium comedians. I don't much go for stand-up, I think good stand-up is rather rare, which makes me all the happier when I find it. Paggy was right when she said I should bring him to Barons Court and I'd absolutely love to. Problem is, he's based in Portsmouth.

George Steeves: Love and Sex on the Spectrum, V151, 13.45 - George has just done a run at Barons Court in July, so having programmed him, I knew what to expect. I also knew I won't be able to see the whole show, though I did leave much earlier than I would have liked. George did not disappoint his audience: he's got a disarming honesty and a charming naivety, plus a strong artistic yearning. I've spent July recommending people to come to see this show, and I would not have minded doing the same in August. George's show is important, though often misunderstood: today a couple brought a 9yo into a show called 'Love and Sex' and advertised as 18+, yet they were protesting at the adult content. I wonder if they heard about the show on Grindr.

Looking for me friend: The Music of Victoria Wood, V20, 14.30 - I'm sure I'm not the first one to do the gag, but it was still funny. 'What are you looking for?' the usher asks. 'I'm looking for me friend' 'Yeah, but what show are you trying to see?'. It was alright, we both laughed. Anyway. I wanted to see Paul's show for a while, as I tried pitching him Barons Court as a potential home. Maybe I will again, probably just as unsuccessful. Now... I know nothing of Victoria Wood's work. First time I heard of her was when she died. Apparently, I have heard some of her songs though, reworked by various entertainers. Most of the audience was driven, I assume, by nostalgia, I was there out of curiosity. And got a lesson in recent British history while at it. Might be a little while still until I get fully on board with the humor. But if you're a Victoria Wood fan - unmissable!

Healing+, V152, 16.20 - Mike Lemme invited me to his show as he's on the look - like everyone else - for a producer. Mike wants to perform at Carnegie Hall (which is smaller than I thought, >3000 seats, less than the Palladium). I think he should maybe aim at Madison Square Garden. And while Carnegie Hall is a big financial undertaking, even Barons Court might be a challenge if he has to commute from New York. We'll see. Oh, and he has to cut the word 'gatekeeper' from the show. Kafka hit the nail on the head.

This is Paradise, V15, 18.30 - Of course Amy has amazing write-ups, her acting really lifts the script and she is probably top pick when it comes to Northern Irish actresses. I've known how well she has mastered her craft for years now, so the good reviews are to be expected. But I don't remember seeing such an intense silence in a theatre audience as in the Traverse 2 yesterday, towards the closing moments of This is Paradise. A silence is a silence, it just indicates lack of noise, but I'm not sure we have any way of measuring how INTENT this silent was. Because it was VERY intent. The best illustration of 'on the edge of the seats' I have seen. 

Otherwise, the script is really good, though slightly too long IMHO. Chop a bit of the set-up, the play doesn't really start until Joe's accident anyway.

Bubble Show for Adults Only, V38, 8.45pm - Another amazing moment of this Fringe was at the end of this show, after both performers have been naked on stage and we've seen a number of depictions of sexual intercourse, when Kurt said, at the bows, 'We also do a children show'. Sounds like a gag, but it's for real. I initially thought a bubbles show would appeal more to children, but sitting in yesterday I realised that when soap bubbles are around, we all become children again.

I started writing this Wednesday night. I added This is Paradise and Bubble Show now, Thursday afternoon. Flat & the Curves, last show I saw Wednesday, plus the shows today coming up in my next post.