marți, 21 noiembrie 2023

The Mongol Khan - Production value over production quality

The Mongol Khan, London Coliseum, 17.11 - 02.12.2023, watched on 20 November (gala night). Produced by Hero Entertainment, Director Hero Bataar

It's not fair, from my position, to be reviewing theatre. For better and for worse, and to my surprise, I am a director of a theatre in London, so it feels out of place to be commenting on other theatres' productions.

I am, however, completely unlikely to ever do anything of the scale of The Mongol Khan in my life, so I suppose I can get a pass this time. The play, one of the most talked about in London at the moment, is very well-reviewed, so this isn't a review as much as it's a series of clarifying thoughts whose intended readership is a short series of future me-s rather than anyone else. And besides, I got to see this show on a press ticket, so this feels like a bit of giving back.

Ever since I saw the posters, this show piqued my curiosity. I wanted to see it, and I have Zuza to thank for seeing it for free. Was it what I expected? Well... I don't know. I tried to go in without expectations, but you are encouraged to think 'lavish' when you are greeted outside of the theatre by actors in medieval Mongolian attire either on horses or holding flags.
What, you thought I was kidding?

It is a lavish production, this much is clear. They went for the spectacle and they do provide: 70 people on stage and a costume department that must've been bigger than most production teams I work with. But where the director got it wrong, and where the lack of stars throughout the reviews must stem from, is watering down a story that feels it has quite a lot of complexity, even if not a lot of innovation. What we are seeing on stage is a lot less than what the original play seems to be. It's a showcase of costumes first and foremost and the plot is not a lot more intricate than that of a fashion show.

I say it a lot, audiences are usually smarter than we give them credit for, and if the director had given his English audience a bit more credit to understand a story where basic human impulses are superseded by various inherited patterns of thought, where the duty to society supersedes the love of family, this might've been a better show. As it is, all of the themes are merely hinted at, all of the characters are underdeveloped, and audiences are right to complain about the pace and the looseness of the plot.

Of course, the show doesn't owe us anything, but by the same token, we're in no way forced to like it, however beautiful and carefully researched the costumes might be. It feels almost like a convention has not been agreed between the show and the audience. For this reason, spectacular as it might be, The Mongol Khan feels like a missed opportunity.

Though I for one, would be curious to read the original play in full.

Are you not entertained?


duminică, 27 august 2023

Edinburgh 2023 - Last Day

The plan was supposed to work, in theory: check out of the accommodation at 10 am, drop the luggage either at their storage or at the station, then move on to watch shows for the whole day, ending with a late Friday one. Because, my assumption was, the strong cabaret shows will be at the weekend mostly, so I will get to see a weekend evening. 

Of course, it didn't work quite as planned: neither the reception nor the train station luggage facility weren't open past 11 pm, which already killed the mood for the evening. Besides, there seemed to be a lot less circus and cabaret this year, everything backing down in front of the comedy that is slowly encompassing all territory like a zerg swarm.

And the Kaye Hole was sold out pretty much as it was announced. The learning here is that next time I visit as a tourist I should do early train with early afternoon arrival, then leave with the late evening train, rather than the early morning. Of course, circumstances will differ next year, but we'll go with the best guess, as always.

Another bit of learning about the number of shows one can possibly see in a day. At a push, I think even 11 might be possible, if you have the endurance. But also, if it's more than 9 shows, they will have to be chosen by location and convenience rather than by the actual show. Digesting what one sees and actual digesting of food are also important elements of the day, so the run for quantity might eat into the quality of the experience. Hence, I conclude, the ideal number of shows to be seen in a day as a tourist is 6-7. Having said this, I only hit 5 on my last day, sacrificing the morning to sleep and the evening to the safety of getting to London in time and with my luggage intact.

Long Long Long Live (13.40, Infirmary Greenside, V236) - The first on the day was an invitation from Pili Vergara from LatinX. And it looked like the most interesting proposal for the slot, so there I was, in the tiniest venue I've seen at this year's edition. 40 seats, but crammed in a tiny room, with the stage barely 2 x 2 m, and performers being at audience's toes most of the time. Still, Pili and Dangerosity have done a great job, once I got into the show - which was quickly - I forgot about the venue. The concept is interesting: a modular show, different scenes approaching the same themes from different angles. It works, and it can be quite innovative in the 3-millenia field that theatre is. What I saw was entertaining, with very exacting direction and great pace. My main objection is that the modules have to be supported by a central skeleton though, which was missing here. We need to understand the relationship between the characters, and we need the characters not to change once we understood where they sit in relation to each other, otherwise it gets confusing. I would also aim to give them a resolution and, if at all possible, even more of a set-up. So the experience was positive, but as it is, the show will have a short shelf life. They do want to keep working at it though, and that's great!

Scaredy Fat (16.05, Pleasance Dome, V23) - This show came recommended by Leanne, who I trust because I liked her show Two Fingers Up last year, and because I programed her show at Barons Court. Unfortunately, Scaredy Fat failed to deliver. The intersectionality here is gay, fat & Irish, so a solid premise to talk about bullying, emotional abuse, sexual awakening and sexual identity and how these translate into rural Ireland. Scaredy Fat is trying to do it, but it gets lost somewhere on the way. Excess projection, some delving into drag, just enough to throw us off the story, but not enough to take us into drag show territory, and a lot of classical horror movies that we don't necessarily understand what they're doing there other than "I like them". It's weird, because it looks like the show has a solid team behind it, and I'd think one of them saw how neither here nor there it is. But maybe it's just a matter of taste. Maybe I'm just not gay enough to get it. It has happened before.

Amusements by Ike (17.40, Pleasance Courtyard, V33) - I know Ike from the best improv show I've ever seen, the Vegas Nocturne in 2015. I've befriended him on Facebook and I saw a bit more of his absurdist, deadpan humour, which is highly endearing. The show was sold out, so I took a punt, which occasioned the best interaction with the box office girl, who just plain sold me a ticket, staring across these 'sold out' shenanigans as mere rumors. And I'm very very glad I got to see Ike, this is an amazing show! Stand up comedy, yes, for lack of a better name, but the way stand up should be. With the biographical elements incorporated in the humour, set up to amuse and entertain rather than a stream of consciousness story of my life show, Avital! Ike is incredibly charming, his writing is smart and his delivery is super-funny. And, again, I got to play a little part, asking for a volunteer from the stage. You have to see it to understand. Although you won't be able to at this year's festival, as the show is now truly sold out. And I'm so glad Ike has done so well, I hope to see him more on this side of the Atlantic!

Runaway (20.05, The Space, V53) - I met Zuzana on the street and she seemed quite downbeat about how this festival has been. Shame. I saw the show in London. I did love it, but wasn't planning on seeing it again at the festival. But a ticket is a ticket, so I went it to swell numbers more than anything. Glad I did though. 8 in the audience, which is not amazing, but by no means the end of the world. Actually a decent number for the Fringe. Now, whether due to fatigue or to disenchantment, Zuzana didn't have the same energy that blew me off my feet at Drayton Arms. It's the same show, so still solid writing, excellent performance. and I'm glad to see that the audiences seem to have enjoyed it. But it's in the little beats, in the extra breaths, that the show has lost some pace on the performance I've seen. I hope Zuzana does it in London, and doe a proper run of it. Because it's important! The experience of a foreigner, the experience of an Eastern European, of a young woman in a strange new land, all important topics, and the show covers them very well. It's inspiring, really. When you see it, see it!


Mythos: Ragnarok (21.20, Assembly Roxy, V139) - strong recommendation from another Zuzanna, West End Evenings. To the point that I had to promise I'll see the show. It's theatre & wrestling! Cool, no? More than that, Mythos: Ragnarok does not rely on the wrestling bits, or does not make much of the fact that it brought together two types of shows which I doubt anyone thought to combine before. No no, Ragnarok is here to tell us a story, a solidly put together timeline of Norse mythology. Compiling a series of myths written across centuries into a coherent piece of theatre is already an impressive achievement, but M:R doesn't stop here: Costumes are brilliant, choreographies are fantastic, and the fights are downright spectacular, to the point that the whole audience was gasping, and gasping often. Not to mention, performances are brilliant. You wonder how they do it, getting a few kicks in the ribs, then standing up to deliver a perfect monologue, with dimension, intensity, humour, and leave space for the audience, too! The actor playing Loki, especially, outstanding! The perfect show to bring a child at a vulnerable age (8-16) to. They will fall in love with theatre forever, and will forever yearn for that oh so ungraspable combination of interesting subject matter, well crafted story, clear writing, high production value and believable acting. Well, Mythos: Ragnarok have found it! This is West End material if I ever saw any. I just hope a producer takes a risk. Oh, and looking forward to seeing Mythos: Olympus. They have opened themselves to it big time.

miercuri, 23 august 2023

Edinburgh 2023 - Cooling down

The Bubbles Show is way too popular for me to just walk in. By Thursday, they were already sold out for the run, so I will now have to wait until next year. The upside of not going to a show at 10 am is sleeping more. I still ended up seeing 6 shows, though not the same 6 I was planning to.


My Dad Wears a Dress (11.25, Underbelly Cowgate, V61) - I love Maria. I've had my doubts about her up until she started the run at Barons Court in November 2022, but no more doubts now. She is taking Edinburgh by storm, turning a profit for a first-year show and churning them 5-star reviews like socks. Maria is an incredibly charming performer, she is smart, spontaneous, and funny. Her show has a very exact target audience, and I have rarely seen a clearer description of the show through its title (The Brief Life and Mysterious Death of Boris III King of Bulgaria is close, but try to memorize it). She's got so much star potential that it feels like a matter of time, and not that much time. I am proud as a parent of her achievements, even though when it comes to interpreting a text we don't really see eye to eye. But we seem to like each other, and I was very happy to be spending the afternoon with her rather than seeing shows. You want to see a future star from up close? Go see Maria, thank me after.

Declan (14.35, Underbelly Cowgate, V61) - one of Maria's recommendations, though if we are to be honest this was 4th on the list. We missed two shows at Assembly (a sold-out and a canceled), and we missed Rosalie Minnitt: Clementine as we were just a tiny bit too late. It does feel like Declan is where we were supposed to be though. An LGBT/coming-of-age story from rural Ireland, so you already know what to expect: depravity, guilt, shame, family issues, toy fetishes, remoteness, darkness, and sadness. Declan is an impressive performance feat by Alistair Hall (writer/performer), who delivers a beautiful, touching story, at pace. 45 minutes in which we see an entire world outside the main story. One of the rare times when I thought a play should slow the pace down a tad. We were tired in the audience after the 45-minute play/race, I can only imagine how tough it is to perform it. 

Declan deserves bigger audiences for sure, though it does feel like this was a test run, and the real deal is still waiting in the wings. Whether that's a tour, a run, or next year's Ed Fringe, remains to be seen.

Pitch (15.45, Pleasance Courtyard, V33) - I took a punt on Pitch after seeing their posters. It's a story about football, and I like football stories. Theatre and art in general misses a trick by paying so little attention to this global phenomenon which encapsulates humanity in a 100 m x 50 m grassy patch. In addition, Pitch is a queer story about football, so the premises for success are there. And yes, the script is exceptional. A strong story, good crafting, engaging, well rounded. Unfortunately, the direction betrays the show. So many strong moments devoid of all emotion! Clearly, if the emotion isn't there, I'll struggle to empathize with the characters, and I'll struggle to engage with the play. 

I'm glad I saw it, but I'm sad it's not a better show. The company seems to have a solid strategy in place, so hopefully, I'll have the opportunity to see the show again soon. And when I do, I hope it will be better.

Paved with Gold and Ashes (18.40, Infirmary Greenside, V236) - I went to see this because Everleigh is in it, and I'm glad I did. I wish the Fringe would have a lot more shows like this one. A strong story about immigration in early 20th century America, centered around the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire. I had not heard about the fire before the show, though it does look like it's an important event in New York history. A well-researched script and excellent direction make for a very engaging show. The choice of costume is superb, to have this kind of production value at this scale is commendable, and I hope for a future life for this show. If I were to nit pick, I would say that the script feels a bit disjointed, with two clear bits: the gold and the ashes, that don't necessarily flow from each other. The first half is very much a social play, talking about immigration, history, and capitalist ethics. No warning when it takes a sharp steer into tragedy. I'm not making much of it, maybe it was the fringe trimming, or maybe the script is in need of another draft, as it is it's still an immensely watchable show, a really strong recommendation.

Reuben Kaye: The Butch is Back (19.50, Assembly George Square, V3) - Shall I compare Reuben to a summer's day? My love for Reuben is well known, and the way he bloomed into one of the biggest stars of the festival circuit in the past two years fills me with joy. Of course, I recommend his show to everyone, though I don't really need to, the entire run is sold out anyway. And most people just end up recommending him back to me. I have a feeling that, unless TV steals him, any planning for any festival for the foreseeable future will start with Reuben. And I'll know to book far in advance because I didn't this year, so I could not get in to see The Kaye Hole. Australian TV thought the 'Jesus getting nailed for 3 days and then coming back' was an off-color joke? They should hear his Holocaust ones.

Avital Ash Workshops her Suicide Note (22.05, Monkey Barrel Tron, V51) - On a personal level, I feel I could connect strongly with Avital. A love of Leonard Cohen, an honest inquiry into the nature of the divine, and a generally cynic view of life, all up my street. But for the richness of the material that life provided her, Avital makes a hash on the show. This is first and foremost a stand-up, ok, maybe a stand-up that got drunk that one night and made out with a piece of theatre, but since it's a stand-up, I was expecting it would have jokes, and that they would be funny. So before workshopping a suicide note in a set way longer than anyone would have wanted, Avital should have really workshopped some of them jokes.

But it worked. Her depression was passed on to me, at least for the evening. I retired relatively early, disappointed that this year the Festival seems to quiet down completely around 1-2 am, whereas in my day the Assembly Late'n'Live would still be going at 4 am.

luni, 21 august 2023

Edinburgh 2023 - Going for the record

Usually, I tend to be rather spontaneous with the shows I see, and it kind of half worked for me so far. For that reason, and in an attempt at efficiency, I decided to plan a bit better. So I left home on Wednesday with 9 shows planned, which seemed a lot, but also it seemed possible. It might've even been 10 if I went to the Late'n'Live at Assembly George Square. Didn't quite reach nine, had to stop at 8 shows. Still a record, but I also think I'm discovering the upper limit. 10 shows per day is possible, as long as you choose the times and distances carefully, but you can't really be picky with what the shows actually are. And I want to be picky. Also, the pace gets to you pretty quickly, so I figured that the right amount of shows per day is 6, +/- 1. Which will be my guideline from now on.

The Fish Bowl (10.25, Summerhall, V26) - I missed Milkshake and Bubbles at The Space as I didn't wake up in time, so I went to The Fish Bowl as it came highly recommended by Martha at the reception of Destiny Meadows, where I stayed, and because it was across the street. It turns out this was the only show I saw at Summerhall this year, and I'm glad I visited, as Summerhall is an incredible hub of the Fringe, with a solid pick of shows, some sexy-looking venues, and delving into other forms of art, mostly visual. The show, however, was not all that. Important topic, talking about dementia, and the team came from Australia, devising the show based on their time spent in a care home. The end product slides too much into verbatim pieces without an apparent connection, and unfortunately, I felt that the show has too little theatricality, and did not elicit much of an emotional response from me. The team clearly believes in their show, all that's left is to make it good.

Joe Wells - King of the Autistics (12.00, Banshee Labyrinth, V156) - Joe was a great find last year with 'I am autistic', so I went in with high hopes, and accompanied by Sorin Psatta, a mid-level celebrity in the Romanian social media. King of the Autistics is a funny show, but it matches lower against my expectations who, yes, have increased substantially after hearing last year's show. One of the problems I'm having is that around half of the show is recycled material from I am Autistic, and that's a bit much imho. Either write a new show or hone the old one. Repeating a few jokes is acceptable, it might be a trademark; half of the show is lazy. And I don't want to think of Joe as lazy. It's entertaining, but not mind-blowing. This is the only show I saw in the Free Fringe, and I'm hoping the format works for Joe. Despite what I just said, it's probably one of the stronger shows in this time slot, and I would recommend anyone to go see it. A great mix of funny and educational, this year without dog cum. 

The Cambridge Impronauts (13.40, Gilded Ballon Patter Hoose, V24) - I went to this specifically to have a chat with Olivia Gillman, who was supposed to be in it. She wasn't, not on the day. So, you know... enjoy the show. I am seeing so much improv that I'm seeing the backbones of a show more and more clearly. I have to say though, the Impronauts stick to classical formulas of improv, but execute them very well. So the show is not only funny, but it also looks like good production value, which is rare for improv. And I got to be on stage for a little bit, in an ego-fuelling exercise. And I learned a few new improv games. So a win overall, something light to go with your lunch.


Godot is a Woman  (15.35, Pleasance Courtyard, V33) - This is the discovery of the Fringe for me. I have heard of the show but wasn't sure what to expect. Well, expect perfection, because this show delivers it! Silent Faces have taken a bad experience and absolutely turned it on its head in a show that is smart, funny, subversive, political, excellently written, and superbly delivered! It imitates Beckett but adds to it, it tells a perfectly well-rounded story in sketch format, and only people who have done sketches know how hard that is. Cordelia, Josie, and Jack are natural-born entertainers, and I hope to see a lot more of their work soon. The fact that they struggle to get a run in London blows my mind. Soho Theatre, come on guys!

The Brief Life and Mysterious Death of Boris III King of Bulgaria (17.20, Pleasance Dome, V23) - We made contact with Out of the Forest Theatre Company before the Fringe, when they were looking for rehearsal space, and the title of the show was enough to get me curious. It's an Eastern European story and I care about Eastern European stories, even though, having heard of Boris III before, I knew Romania will not be shown in a good light. This is a very camp retelling of how the Holocaust came about in Bulgaria during World War II, with songs and everything. And guess what? It works! The show is funny and hugely entertaining, but somehow it manages to keep your eyes on the ball at all times: the subject matter is a very serious one, and the company never makes light of it. We get all of the history, we understand the emotions and motivations of the characters, all of them being caught in extraordinary circumstances, and at the center of them all, Tsar Boris, who answered the call of history and got killed for it (no spoiler guys, it's in the title). Yes, maybe the image of Boris III is a tad brushed up, and we cannot really know the inner motivations of the character, but even so, we're not looking at unidimensional cardboard cutouts here: everyone has their shades of grey, everyone is slave to motivations and betrayals. Great story, beautifully told. I know now that the company has other ideas, but I said, and I maintain: add a few songs and this has West End potential.

Janitor/Manager & How to have an affair without really trying (19.40, Zoo Playground, V186) - A show I took a punt on because the time fit, without knowing anything about it. Well, that'll teach me! I think I've had my fill of lazy NYC comedians and comedians wannabe for the year. This show is actually two stand uo sets with songs. Autobiographical, but told, rather than written. Which is not theatre, it's therapy. I know, I know, but Hannah Gadsby is so popular right now, so find your trauma and exploit it, kids! Now, that only works when there is actual trauma, which doesn't seem to be the case with Sean Conrad, whose claim to suffering was that his employer was making him actually work. Oh, you've been in a job you hate and want to talk about it in your stand-up set? Well, have you thought about adding humor to it? In Becky Goodman's case, the emotional scars are clearly deeper, but again, you only need an audience of one to sort through your issues. If that person also has some sort of counseling qualification, all the better! There were 8 of us in that room, and no one was judging Becky as hard as she is judging herself. So you had a relationship with a dude 40 years older? Or, as they call it in France, a relationship? Meh. The vagina costume is effective, but unkempt. Come on Becky, this is really covering the basics.

Flat & the Curves: Divadom (21.50, Pleasance Dome, V23) - The fact that F&tC now have more than two hours of material is really no excuse for cutting my favorite song of theirs (Up the Shard). But worry not, there's still plenty of smut! F&tC is getting plenty of praise, and it's all fully deserved, and more! I thought they were absolutely hilarious last year, and they have been absolutely hilarious every time I saw them since! Perfect cabaret act! Comparisons with Fascinating Aida are obvious and fully justified. They are up there, and I'm really happy they are selling out a relatively big venue. I took Seb, Pedro, and James to see them without any warning, and in truth maybe that was a bit mean of me, but to see their reactions is priceless! Flat and the Curves, sparkles and smut, in a venue near you soon! Catch them before they're famous, not long now.

Viggo Venn: British Comedian (00:05, Monkey Barrel Comedy, V515) - the 100-seater at Monkey Barrel was too small for the latest winner of Britain's Got Talent. I was surprised this is not in a bigger venue (though it will do 2 performances in one of the big Pleasance spaces this weekend). I was curious what this Norwegian comic is about, and I was lucky to get a ticket in an otherwise sold-out run. What can I say? This show took all my expectations and whacked me over the head with them, repeatedly! I expected stand-up, but this is so much better! Viggo is a clown and this is a clown show. No white face and red nose though. To me, this is the state of the art of what clowning means today. Viggo needs no words whatsoever to make you laugh, cry, wonder, and awe. And he didn't really use any until the second half of the show. But the technical aspects of the show are executed to perfection, Viggo is always in perfect tune with the audience and he is an absolute master of controlling the room. An hour that leaves you with 'WTF did I just watch?', but it also leaves you with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. And I have the feeling that Viggo is a warm, fuzzy man. I'm looking forward to seeing Viggo again soon, and I'll urge everyone to do so.

I am sorry I couldn't get to see Julia Masli's show as well, but will certainly pay more attention to clowning from now on!

So yeah, this was my crazy 8 shows day in Edinburgh! Two more days to follow, though I'll have to see when I can write about them, while also recovering all the work I didn't do when in Edinburgh.

miercuri, 16 august 2023

Edinburgh 2023 - First two days

Two days into this year's Edinburgh Fringe, and I have only managed to see 2 shows. Deeply frustrating, but work got in the way, so it's up to the next 3 days to recover. I've scheduled a whooping 9 shows day tomorrow, let's see how it goes.

But let's see about the first two shows then:

Spin by Kate Sumpter - I've seen Kate act on a couple of occasions, but I heard about the show from Meaghan Martin, whose company, 3 Hearts Canvas, is producing the show. This is a solid show, and Kate is a great actress. It's entertaining and well-conceived, I like the production value and the little touches of style, such as the radio-guided car bringing food. The script is well crafted, though if I'm being honest it's probably the weakest aspect of the show. The theme of involuntarily causing harm, which then cascades into self-harm, is a bit overused, in various circumstances, so unless it's biographical, I would stay away. There are other devices that could've been used to better effect. Also, I feel like more can be done in the beginning to get the audience fully engaged in the spin class. Of course, it would be amazing to do the show in a gym, with all the audience on stationary bikes. But that's a difficult setup to come across, especially at the Fringe. Would have been the bomb though.

Also, when the backdrop of the set is a huge mirror surface, please be careful with the front light! I had the SL projector in my face for half the show. 


Making History by Stephen Fry - of course, 'by Stephen Fry' is a marketing ploy, the show is adapted from a book written by Stephen Fry. Poorly adapted if I am to be bluntly honest. I launched into a long paragraph criticizing the actors and saying they're below amdram level, but then I googled the company and indeed, community theatre. Therefore, I will refrain from further judgment. Typical amdram production, with a very competent set, but huge problems with pace. The script is the strong element this time, engaging and entertaining story, though I can see the markers of Stephen Fry's approach through it: The main premises of the plot sound revolutionary and earth-shattering, but an average year 1 college student can clear a few things for you. What if Hitler was never born? Why is God allowing cancer in children? Yeah, sure thing, Stephen, except that's not how it works.

Either way, not at all sorry for seeing it. It gave me the opportunity to venture a bit further away from the epicenter of the Fringe, in the very picturesque Ninnian Hall. Oh, that venue could do amazing things!

So that's that so far, poor crop for two days in Edinborough. Let's see how tomorrow works out, after 5 hours of sleep.

duminică, 18 decembrie 2022

WC 2022: The friendly

Croatia - Morocco 2-1

The third-place play-off has no real stakes. This is no more than a glorified friendly, a game that does not reward the victor, nor punish the defeated, and I don't remember any third place playoff for the past 32 years producing anything memorable. Bar perhaps Turkey's victory over South Korea in 2002, when most of the world felt the refereeing wrongdoings that have pushed South Korea into the semifinals were avenged.

Croatia - Morocco was no different, perhaps bar a very sweet look-upon by neutrals: these are both two very beautiful teams, the underdogs that no one expected to get this far when the tournament started and two teams that were both within touching distance of playing what would have been a much more interesting final.

It was a good game overall, marred by blatant refereeing mistakes. Look, we get it: these 'mistakes' sometimes have a purpose, I mentioned South Korea in 2002, and Argentina this year (or in 2014 for that matter) is no different. But come on Qatar! This game had no stake!

If it's a penalty, give them a penalty. Croatia should have benefitted from two obvious ones, which makes one question why the hell do we bother with VAR. Croatia won the game anyway, so these very poor decisions contribute to little else than to bury even further the reputation of Qatari football and of this World Cup which, we can all agree now, has not been one of the best. 

But, when all is said and done, many congratulations to both teams. Congratulations to Croatia which - no one can doubt it now - is a footballing superpower with an amazing track record, and the big trophies will probably be heading their way shortly. Congratulations to Morocco, their amazing passion and work rate, and their glorious fans. They have made history, they have pushed the boundaries of how high African teams can dream, and who knows? Maybe we will see an African team winning the World Cup soon.

Now on to the final, which is about to start, and in which I hope France will win comfortably. It will be tight, but I'm confident.

Ramenez la coupe a la maison...

vineri, 16 decembrie 2022

WC 2022: Numbers dropping rapidly

QF:

Brazil - Croatia 0-0 (1-1 aet, 2-4 penalties)

Netherlands - Argentina 2-2 (3-4 penalties)

Morocco - Portugal 1-0

France - England 2-1

SF:

Argentina - Croatia 3-0

France - Morocco 2-0

I have been deeply disturbed in this World Cup by real life's strong attempts to disturb my football watching. Whereas I was hoping to actually be in Qatar and see some of the games live, I ended up struggling for time to watch games because of work, a horrible throwback to the World Cup I have the least amount of recollection of, Germany 2006, which I could only watch on a small screen with bad reception and no sound.

Having said all that, I actually did see the first two quarters. I watched Brazil - Croatia with Ena, who not only is Croatian but also seems to care about how the team is doing. And I didn't think they'd do very well against Brazil until it happened. I think Brazil got the game wrong tactically, not going all out to score and thus entering into Croatia's slow grinding down. I didn't quite get what it is about Croatia's team that makes it so dangerous until Ian Wright said they're boring. I don't think it's boredom as such, but a very ingenious way of maximizing their resources. With an aging attacking compartment but a lot of strength and stamina in defense, the Croats knew they can absorb everything thrown at them, and against a flourishing Brazil side it's seldom you can do more than absorb. Keep them at arm's length, don't let them create that moment of magic. It works well for about 2 hours until Neymar's cartoon goal. 


I don't particularly like Neymar and I think he's massively overrated, but that goal was a moment of brilliance. It looked like he's suddenly two people, like when Flash or some fast-moving superhero in movies starts sprinting. Simply unstoppable, no matter how good your defense. 

I thought that was it, but credit to Croatia for coming back from it. A bit clunky, a bit lucky, with a speculative shot from a distance 3 minutes from time, but it worked. And to penalties they went, where it almost feels like Croatia is cheating. Livakovic is without a doubt the best keeper of the tournament in my eyes, so even when he doesn't necessarily keep the penalties out, he inspires a belief in his team-mates that makes them a lot calmer when shooting.

Penalties are a lottery, but in some lotteries, you have a better chance than in others. This was Brazil's story in this World Cup and we can talk about merit all we like, in games like these the tiniest of margins make the world of a difference.

I watched Argentina - Netherlands too, and I was impressed with the Dutch resilience and ability to come back from 2-0 down. Just as impressed with how loud the whole pub exploded for Netherlands' second goal, 100 minutes in. One point where I meet the English football fans is in their hatred for Argentina. it's funny, the Falklands War, Maradona's hand of God, Simeone's cheated elimination of Beckham in 1998, each event could have been enough to make the two countries dislike each other, but all of them combined... it's hard to see a way back for that dislike.

The cards are stacked for Messi to win this World Cup, and unfortunately the Netherlands was a victim of that. Because otherwise, they were the better team.

I tried to not know the result of the other two quarter-finals, but that's close to impossible if you're out in the world or if you touch a device connected to the internet. All the more so when England is playing, and everyone everywhere has their TVs, laptops, and phones connected to the game. So I made peace with the fact I won't live the emotions in real-time, so I had to settle for 3-minutes highlights of Morocco - Portugal. Which told me very little except for the score and the fact that Bruno had the draw in his boot twice, but he was unlucky on both occasions. Especially when he hit the post.


I'm sad for Portugal, but happy for Morocco, and I kind of supported them against France. I'm very happy to finally see an African team in the semi-finals, but I would've much preferred it to be a sub-Saharean team. I said it before, I associate Nigeria, Senegal, Cameroon, or Ghana much more with African football's values and traditions rather than Morocco or Egypt, which represents the Middle East more than Africa. Besides, Morocco is this weird intersection of Africa, Europe, and the Arab World, with a finger in each of these but belonging fully to neither. But beyond my biased geo-political views, the Atlas Lions played an amazing tournament and deserve their bit of history.

I saw even less of France - England, little else than the memes about Harry Kane's penalty going above the bar. But that's ok. The English don't know how to enjoy football, or anything, really. They always go overboard. When the national team wins an important match, they'll be noisy and annoying, they'll create chaos on the streets, break windows, destroy bus stations, and make the city an unpleasant sight overall. When England loses, everyone goes home quietly, and the most unpleasant sight you can see is some tearful child who'll grow to know better. So well done, France! Ramenez la coupe a la maison...

The semifinals I did see, even though I had to suffer through the hour-long ITV build-up to the game, because the amazing new ITV player cannot fast forward, in exchange for bombarding the viewers with huge chunks of publicity and buffering worse than illegal streams. To have the World Cup broadcast in such awful conditions is actually outrageous and it's one of the stupid quirks of this country that the media regulator does not take any sort of position towards the public being basically abused by the whims of a private TV channel.

Anyway...

I will grant this: Argentina was the better team against Croatia, and deserving winners of the game. Even though the penalty from which Messi opened the scoring was very, very soft. Remember that thing about cards being stacked in his favor? On full display on that penalty. What was Livakovic supposed to do? Let the guy just pass him? There was no hit or intention of hitting. If anything, it was an attacking foul. But as we have seen, without a little help from his FIFA friends, Messi isn't even able to beat Saudi Arabia.

And we ordered Lebanese food to watch France - Morocco. Yeah, I know, other side of the Mediterranean, but we live in the West, ok? If they have weird curly hair, that's good enough. So yeah, I did support Morocco, and I felt for their very hearty fans, but unfortunately the players didn't as much. Yeah, of course, France is a great team and very hard to beat, but you know what makes it harder to beat them? Not shooting when you have a clear sight on goal! Not attacking the player in full force and holding back when he's through on goal! In some ways, the result of this game was not as important, Morocco will bask in the glory of this semifinal forever now, but how much more of a bigger story would it have been if they won the World Cup? Earth-shattering, dare I say, it would have shifted the geo-political situation of the Mediterranean basin. But they weren't ready, obviously.

Worrying that they were able to dominate France so thoroughly for some 20 minutes or so, but I still fancy Les Bleus to win it. Well, it would be horrible otherwise, wouldn't it?

Ramenez la coupe a la maison...